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18 December 2013 @ 05:32 pm
Transcript: The Day of the Doctor  
Whoo-hoo! Done with a week to spare! Thanks to everyone for being so patient. If I've missed anything, please let me know!



EXT. STREET, DAY

A policeman walks along the pavement, casting a shadow against the brick wall. A sign points the way to I. M. Foreman’s Scrap Yard on Totter’s Lane. Right around the corner is Coal Hill Secondary School where CLARA is now teaching.

CLARA: (v.o.)
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." Marcus Aurelius.

INT. CLASSROOM, DAY

The bell rings and the students start leaving. CLARA erases the board. A young MAN runs into the room.

CLARA: (v.o.)
Have you been running?

MAN:
Are you OK? There was a call for you, at the office. From your doctor.

CLARA:
(smiles) Did he leave an address?

CLARA takes the slip of paper from the MAN before grabbing her motorcycle helmet and jacket.

EXT. STREET, DAY

CLARA pulls out of the school at 5:15 and heads out of the city through a tunnel.

EXT. COUNTRY STREET, DAY

CLARA stops at the crest of a hill and looks down to where the TARDIS is on the side of the road. She smiles and continues on. She honks the horn as she gets closer and the doors open.

INT. TARDIS

CLARA stops the motorcycle. The DOCTOR looks up from his book “Advanced Quantum Mechanics” at her arrival but doesn’t look over. He licks his finger and turns a page. CLARA removes her helmet.

DOCTOR:
Draught!

CLARA snaps her fingers and the doors close. The DOCTOR closes his book.

DOCTOR:
Fancy a week in Ancient Mesopotamia (turns around) followed by future Mars?

CLARA:
Will there be cocktails?

DOCTOR:
(stands and takes off glasses) On the moon.

CLARA:
The moon'll do!

DOCTOR:
Ha-ha!

They meet halfway and hug, the DOCTOR lifting and spinning CLARA around.

DOCTOR:
How's the new job? Teach anything good?

CLARA:
No. Learn anything?

DOCTOR:
Not a thing.

They raise their hands and slap in a double high-five. At that moment, there is a clunking sound and they both look up to the ceiling.

CLARA:
What's happening?

DOCTOR:
Whoa, whoa. We're taking off. But the engines aren't going!

EXT. SKY, DAY

The TARDIS is being air-lifted by a helicopter.

PILOT: (v.o.)
'Windmill 11 to Greyhound Leader. Blue Eagle is airborne. Ready to receive. We're on our way.'

INT. TARDIS

The DOCTOR and CLARA hold on to the console as the TARDIS sways. The DOCTOR heads for the door.

EXT. TOWER of LONDON, COURTYARD, DAY

We hear the sound of the TARDIS and learn it is a ringtone as a young woman, OSGOOD, answers the phone. She is wearing a white lab coat and a long multi-colored scarf.

OSGOOD:
Hello, Kate Stewart's phone? Oh, hold on. (runs to one of the benches overlooking the green and bumps into a Beefeater) Excuse me...sorry! Ma'am! Ma'am!

KATE STEWART is sitting on the bench.

KATE:
The ravens are looking a bit sluggish. Tell Malcolm they need new batteries.

OSGOOD:
It's him! (holds out KATE’S phone) Sorry, it's your personal phone, but, well, I recognised the ringtone. It's him, isn't it?

KATE:
(to OSGOOD) Inhaler. (into phone) Doctor, hello. We found the TARDIS in a field. I'm having it brought in.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

EXT. SKY, DAY

The DOCTOR is at the open TARDIS door using the outside telephone.

DOCTOR:
No kidding!

KATE:
Where are you?

The DOCTOR holds the phone up towards the helicopter so KATE can hear the blades.

KATE:
(stands) Oh, my God! Oh, Doctor, I'm so sorry, we had no idea you were still in there.

The helicopter flies along the path of the Thames. OSGOOD looks up and can just see it clearing the Tower Bridge.

KATE:
Come on.

KATE and OSGOOD leave the courtyard.

EXT. SKY, DAY

PILOT: (v.o.)
'Roger. New heading - 207. Changing course.'

With the change of course, the DOCTOR looses his balances and tumbles from the door.

DOCTOR:
Argh...!

INT. TARDIS

CLARA runs for the open door.

CLARA:
Doctor?!

EXT. SKY, DAY

The DOCTOR is hanging upside-down from the door.

DOCTOR:
Clara!

EXT. TOWER of LONDON, DAY

KATE and OSGOOD head down the steps towards the main exit.

KATE:
Doctor, can you hear me?

EXT. SKY, DAY

The phone swings and hits the DOCTOR in the head.

DOCTOR:
Ow!

KATE:
(over phone) 'I don't think he can hear me.'

The DOCTOR grabs the phone.

DOCTOR:
Next time, would it kill you to knock?

EXT. TOWER of LONDON, DAY

KATE:
I'm having you taken directly to the scene.

EXT. SKY, DAY

The helicopter continues to follow the Thames. CLARA is now holding the DOCTOR’S ankles.

KATE:
(over phone) Doctor, hello, are you OK?

DOCTOR:
Whoa...! I'm just going to pop you on hold. (swings upwards)

KATE:
(over phone) 'Doctor?'

CLARA:
(loses grip on the DOCTOR) Ah! Doctor!

The DOCTOR is hanging on to the underside of the TARDIS as it approaches Trafalgar Square. CLARA stands and leans against the open doorway and she watches the city below.

EXT. TRAFALGAR SQUARE, DAY

KATE and OSGOOD are there with UNIT soldiers in a cordoned off area as the TARDIS is lowered. The DOCTOR lets go and drops the last few feet.

OFFICER:
Attention!

The DOCTOR salutes.

DOCTOR:
Why am I saluting? (lowers hand and walks over to KATE)

KATE:
Doctor, as Chief Scientific Officer, may I extend the official apologies of UNIT?

CLARA steps out of the TARDIS as it lands and walks over.

DOCTOR:
Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, a word to the wise. As I'm sure your father would've told you, I don't like being picked up.

CLARA:
That probably sounded better in his head.

KATE:
I'm acting on instructions direct from the throne.

OSGOOD reaches into her pocket and pulls out a letter sealed with red wax. KATE takes the letter and holds it out to the DOCTOR.

KATE:
Sealed orders from Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the First.

[Flash of wax being melted by a candle, poured on the letter and sealed with the Queen’s seal.]

CLARA:
The Queen? The First? Sorry, Elizabeth the First?

KATE:
Her credentials are inside.

The DOCTOR starts to open the letter.

KATE:
No. Inside... (points to the National Gallery)

DOCTOR:
(points at OSGOOD) Nice scarf. (walks through the soldiers to the museum)

KATE:
(to OSGOOD) What's our cover story for this?

OSGOOD:
Um, Derren Brown.

KATE:
Again?

OSGOOD:
Oh, we've sent him flowers.

As CLARA and the DOCTOR make their way up the stairs, a UNIT officer orders his men.

OFFICER:
Attention! Right, I want a secure perimeter around the gallery.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, DAY

The DOCTOR and CLARA walk through smaller galleries to a double door guarded by two soldiers. KATE and OSGOOD follow.

CLARA:
Did you know her? Elizabeth the First?

DOCTOR:
Unified Intelligence Task Force.

CLARA:
Sorry?

DOCTOR:
This lot. UNIT. They investigate alien stuff, anything alien.

CLARA:
What, like you?

DOCTOR:
I work for them.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, MAIN GALLERY, DAY

The DOCTOR and CLARA pass through the door into another, larger gallery.

CLARA:
You have a job?!

DOCTOR:
Why shouldn't I have a job? I'd be brilliant at having a job.

CLARA:
You don't have a job!

DOCTOR:
I do. This is my job, I'm doing it now.

CLARA:
You never have a job.

DOCTOR:
I do! I do.

They stop in front of a large covered frame. Two soldiers pull off the tarp to reveal a painting of a futuristic city in flames – in 3D.

KATE:
Elizabeth's credentials, Doctor.

CLARA:
But... but that's not possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

????

DOCTOR:
No more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, MAIN GALLERY, DAY

DOCTOR:
No more.

KATE:
That's the title.

DOCTOR:
I know the title!

KATE:
Also known as Gallifrey Falls.

DOCTOR:
This painting doesn't belong here - not in this time or place.

CLARA:
Obviously.

DOCTOR:
It's the fall of Arcadia, Gallifrey's second city.

CLARA:
But how is it doing that? How is that possible? (walks to the painting and puts a hand out to touch it) It's an oil painting... in 3D.

DOCTOR:
Time Lord art. Bigger on the inside. A slice of real time... frozen.

KATE:
Elizabeth told us where to find it...and its significance.

The DOCTOR takes CLARA’S hand and entwines their fingers.

CLARA:
You OK?

DOCTOR:
He was there.

CLARA:
Who was?

DOCTOR:
Me. The other me. The one I don't talk about.

CLARA:
I don't understand.

DOCTOR:
I've had many faces, many lives. I don't admit to all of them. There's one life I've tried very hard to forget.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

????

DOCTOR:
No more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, MAIN GALLERY, DAY

DOCTOR:
He was the Doctor who fought in the Time War, and that was the day he did it - the day I did it. The day he killed them all. The last day of the Time War. The war to end all wars between my people and the Daleks.

EXT. STREET, ARCADIA

We zoom into the painting, into Arcadia.

DOCTOR: (v.o.)
And in that battle, there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other. A man who would commit a crime that would silence the universe, and that man...was me.

The Daleks fly down from their spaceships and fire on everyone in the streets, soldiers and civilians. Amid explosions, the soldiers guard civilians as they run to escape. A DALEK chases down a soldier.

DALEK:
Exterminate!

SOLDIER:
Argh!

DALEK:
Exterminate!

INT. BUILDING, ARCADIA

The SOLDIER ducks into an abandoned building and speaks into his radio.

SOLDIER:
Message for the High Council, Priority Omega. Arcadia has fallen. I repeat, Arcadia has fallen.

The SOLDIER shuts off the radio and looks around the building. He sees the TARDIS resting against the opposite wall. A figure approaches from the shadows. It is the WAR DOCTOR.

WAR DOCTOR:
Soldier... I'm going to need your gun.

The WAR DOCTOR proceeds to fire at a wall with the laser rifle.

EXT. STREET, ARCADIA

Families run through the streets crying out as they run from the Daleks. They are soon surrounded.

DALEK:
Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!

FATHER:
Please! Please, just don't!

The children cling to their parents.

INT. BUILDING, ARCADIA

The WAR DOCTOR continues to cut his message into the wall.

EXT. STREET, ARCADIA

DALEK:
Alert! Alert! The Doctor is detected!

DALEK 2:
The Doctor is surrounded!

DALEK:
Inform High Command, we have the Doctor! Seek, locate, destroy!

The family makes its escape while the Daleks are distracted.

DALEK 2:
The Doctor is surrounded...

INT. BUILDING, ARCADIA

The WAR DOCTOR’S message is complete: No More.

EXT. STREET, ARCADIA

DALEK:
Seek, locate, destroy! Seek...

There is a metallic thrumming and the TARDIS bursts through the wall, exploding Daleks in its path. One intact Dalek is lying on its side.

DALEK:
The...Doctor...is...escaping. (sees the message) What... are... these... words? Explain! Explain!

The DALEK is shot by the SOLDIER and explodes.

INT. CORRIDOR, ARCADIA

Two Time Lords – ANDROGAR and a GENERAL – stride the hall.

ANDROGAR:
The High Council is in emergency session - they have plans of their own.

GENERAL:
To hell with the High Council - their plans have already failed.

INT. MAP ROOM, ARCADIA

A number of Time Lords are monitoring the action around the planet.

GENERAL:
Gallifrey's still in the line of fire. So he was there, then?

ANDROGAR pulls up a projection of the wall and the WAR DOCTOR’S message.

ANDROGAR:
He left a message, a written warning for the Daleks. He's a fool.

GENERAL:
No. He's a madman.

ANDROGAR:
As you can see, sir, all Dalek fleets surrounding the planet, now converging on the capital, but the Sky Trenches are holding.

There is a crash and rumbling as there is a strike nearby.

GENERAL:
Where did he go next?

ANDROGAR:
What does it matter? This is their biggest ever attack, sir - they're throwing everything at us...

A TIME LADY hurries to the table.

TIME LADY:
Sir, we have a security breach to the Time Vaults.

They hurry to another screen and the GENERAL taps the screen and a hologram is projected above it.

GENERAL:
The Omega Arsenal, where all the forbidden weapons are locked away.

There is a red dot moving through the arsenal.

ANDROGAR:
They're not forbidden any more - we've used them all against the Daleks.

GENERAL:
No. No, we haven't.

INT. OMEGA ARSENAL, ARCADIA

They stride to an empty pedestal and the GENERAL reaches out a hand.

GENERAL:
The Moment is gone.

ANDROGAR:
I don't understand. What is the Moment? I've never heard of it.

GENERAL:
The galaxy eater. The final work of the ancients of Gallifrey, a weapon so powerful, the operating system became sentient. According to legend... it developed a conscience.

ANDROGAR:
And we've never used it?

GENERAL:
How do you use a weapon of ultimate mass destruction when it can stand in judgment on you?

EXT. DESERT, DAY

The TARDIS stands in the middle of the desert with footsteps leading away.

GENERAL: (v.o.)
There is only one man who would even try.

The WAR DOCTOR trudges across the desert, a sack over his shoulder.

WAR DOCTOR: (v.o.)
Time Lords of Gallifrey, Daleks of Skaro... I serve notice on you all. Too long I have stayed my hand. No more. Today, you leave me no choice. Today, this war will end. No more. No more.

The WAR DOCTOR pauses when he sees a barn or shed in the distance. He changes his grip on the bag and continues on.

INT. BARN, DAY

The WAR DOCTOR opens the door and finds the planks enough apart to let light through. There are leaves and debris strewn on the floor along with scattered pieces of junk. He sets down the bag, unties it and opens it to reveal an ornate box with machinery exposed. He pushes on one of the gears, hoping to start it.

WAR DOCTOR:
How... how do you work? Why is there never a big red button?

He hears a scuffling outside and goes to the door to peer out.

WAR DOCTOR:
Hello? Is somebody there?

WOMAN:
It's nothing.

The WAR DOCTOR turns around and sees a blonde woman sitting on the box. She looks like ROSE TYLER.

ROSE:
It's just a wolf.

WAR DOCTOR:
Don't sit on that!

ROSE:
Why not?

WAR DOCTOR:
Because it's not a chair - it's the most dangerous weapon in the universe. (pulls her off the box and pushes her outside, closing the door)

ROSE:
(sitting on the box) Why can't it be both? Why did you park so far away? Didn't you want her to see it?

WAR DOCTOR:
Want who to see?

ROSE:
The TARDIS. (jumps up and walks around) You walked for miles. And miles and miles and miles and miles.

WAR DOCTOR:
I was thinking!

ROSE:
I heard you.

WAR DOCTOR:
You heard me?

ROSE:
"No...more. No more. No more. No more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

????

WAR DOCTOR:
No more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INT. BARN, DAY

ROSE:
"No more!"

WAR DOCTOR:
Stop it!

ROSE:
"No more! No more."

WAR DOCTOR:
Who are you?

The Moment starts clicking.

WAR DOCTOR:
It's activating. Get out of here! (goes to the machine and touches it) Ow! (pulls his hands back)

ROSE:
What's wrong?

WAR DOCTOR:
The interface is hot.

ROSE:
(sits on a high crate) Well, I do my best.

WAR DOCTOR:
There's a power source inside... (realizes what she said and looks at her) You're the Interface?

INTERFACE:
They must have told you the Moment had a conscience. Hello! (waves) Oh, look at you. Stuck between a girl and a box. Story of your life, eh, Doctor?

WAR DOCTOR:
You know me?

INTERFACE:
(stands) I hear you. All of you, jangling around in that dusty old head of yours. I chose this face and form especially for you. It's from your past. Or possibly your future - I always get those two mixed up.

WAR DOCTOR:
I don't have a future.

INTERFACE:
I think I'm called... Rose Tyler. No, yes, no, sorry. No, no, in this form, I'm called... Bad Wolf. (eyes glow golden) Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor?

WAR DOCTOR:
Stop calling me Doctor.

INTERFACE:
That's the name in your head.

WAR DOCTOR:
It shouldn't be. I've been fighting this war for a very long time - I've lost the right to be the Doctor.

INTERFACE:
Then you're the one to save us all.

WAR DOCTOR:
Yes.

INTERFACE:
If I ever develop an ego, you've got the job.

WAR DOCTOR:
(stands and walks over to her) If you have been inside my head... then you know what I've seen. The suffering. Every moment in time and space is burning. It must end. And I intend to end it the only way I can. (turns away)

INTERFACE:
And you're going to use me to end it by killing them all, Daleks and Time Lords alike. I could, but there will be consequences for you.

WAR DOCTOR:
I have no desire to survive this.

The INTERFACE is now sitting on a low box and the WAR DOCTOR sits down next to her.

INTERFACE:
Then that's your punishment. If you do this - if you kill them all - then that's the consequence. You...live. Gallifrey... you're going to burn it... and all those Daleks with it but all those children too. How many children on Gallifrey right now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXT. GALLIFREY, DAY

Children play in the sun and laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INT. BARN, DAY

WAR DOCTOR:
I don't know.

INTERFACE:
One day you will count them. One terrible night. Do you want to see what that will turn you into? (nudges him) Come on! Aren't you curious?

A whirling vortex opens in the air above them.

INTERFACE:
I'm opening windows on your future. A tangle in time through the days to come, to the man today will make of you.

A red fez falls to the ground in front of them.

INTERFACE:
OK, I wasn't expecting that.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, MAIN GALLERY, DAY

DOCTOR:
But the Time War's over. Why have you brought us here to look at a painting?

KATE:
The painting only serves as Elizabeth's credentials, proof that the letter is from her. It's not why you're here.

The DOCTOR breaks the seal and reads the letter. We see ELIZABETH writing it at her desk.

ELIZABETH: (v.o.)
'My dearest love, I hope the painting known as Gallifrey Falls will serve as proof that it is your Elizabeth who writes to you now. You will recall that you pledged yourself to the safety of my kingdom. In this capacity, I have appointed you as curator of the Under Gallery where deadly danger to England is locked away. Should any disturbance occur within its walls, it is my wish that you be summoned. God speed, gentle husband.'

DOCTOR:
What happened?

KATE:
Easier to show you.

KATE leads the DOCTOR and CLARA from the gallery. A lab-coated scientist makes to follow but stops when his phone rings. OSGOOD follows.

McGILLOP:
McGillop. (looks at phone) But that's not possible. I was just... Understood, sir. But...why would I take it there?

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, SMALL GALLERY, DAY

CLARA and the DOCTOR follow KATE. A metal door slides down behind them. On the wall opposite is a full portrait of ELIZABETH.

CLARA:
Elizabeth the First? You knew her, then?

We see standing next to ELIZABETH, the TENTH DOCTOR in full court dress of the period.

DOCTOR:
A long time ago.

EXT. MEADOW, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

The TARDIS is “parked” on a meadow overlooking a river. The TENTH DOCTOR rides out on a horse, ELIZABETH riding behind him, arms wrapped around him.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Allons-y!

ELIZABETH laughs and the horse whinnies.

TENTH DOCTOR:
There you go, Your Majesty, what did I tell you? Bigger on the inside!

ELIZABETH:
The door isn't - you nearly took my head off. It's normally me who does that. (giggles)

>> LATER >>

ELIZABETH and the TENTH DOCTOR are lying on a blanket having a picnic. ELIZABETH has her head on the TENTH DOCTOR’S lap. The horse grazes behind them.

ELIZABETH:
Tell me, Doctor, why I'm wasting my time on you. I have wars to plan.

TENTH DOCTOR:
You have a picnic to eat. (sips wine)

ELIZABETH:
You could help me.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Well... I'm helping you eat the picnic. (pops a grape in her mouth)

ELIZABETH:
But you have a stomach for war. This face has seen conflict - it's clear as day. (caresses his face)

TENTH DOCTOR:
Oh, I've seen conflict like you wouldn't believe. But it wasn't this face. But never mind that, Your Majesty - up on your feet! (stands and holds his hands for her) Up, up!

ELIZABETH:
How dare you?! I'm the Queen of England!

TENTH DOCTOR:
(helps her stand) I'm not English. (kneels) Elizabeth, will you marry me?

ELIZABETH:
Oh, my dear, sweet love. Of course I will! (leans in to hug him)

TENTH DOCTOR:
(stands) Ah! Gotcha!

ELIZABETH:
My love?

TENTH DOCTOR:
One! The real Elizabeth would never have accepted my marriage proposal. Two! The real Elizabeth would notice when I just casually mention having a different face. But then the real Elizabeth isn't an shape-shifting alien from outer space! And... (holds out a handmade device that goes ding) ding.

ELIZABETH:
What's that?

TENTH DOCTOR:
It's a machine that goes...ding! (machine dings again) Made it myself. It lights up in the presence of shape-shifter DNA. Ooh. Also it can microwave frozen dinners from up to 20 feet and download comics from the future. I never know when to stop.

ELIZABETH:
My love, I do not understand.

TENTH DOCTOR:
I'm not your love. And yes, you do! You're a Zygon.

ELIZABETH:
A Zygon?

TENTH DOCTOR:
Oh, stop it, it's over! A Zygon, yes. A big red rubbery thing, covered in suckers. Surprisingly good kisser. Think the real Queen of England would just decide to share the throne with any old handsome bloke in a tight suit...

The horse whinnies.

TENTH DOCTOR:
…just cos he's got amazing hair and a nice horse? (turns to see the horse is gone and an alien is standing there) Oh. It was the horse! I'm going to be King! (takes ELIZABETH by the hand) Run!

ELIZABETH and the TENTH DOCTOR run to a stone ruin.

ELIZABETH:
What's happening?

TENTH DOCTOR:
We're being attacked by a shape-shifting alien from outer space, formerly disguised as my horse.

ELIZABETH:
What does that mean?

TENTH DOCTOR:
It means...we're going to need a new horse.

INT. RUIN, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

They press against either side of the entry as the Zygon goes past.

ELIZABETH:
Where's it going?

TENTH DOCTOR:
(goes over to her) I'll hold it off, you run. Your people need you.

ELIZABETH:
And I need you alive for our wedding day. (kisses him passionately before running away)

TENTH DOCTOR:
Oh, good work, Doctor, nice one! The Virgin Queen? So much for history! (runs in the opposite direction)

EXT. WOODS, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

ELIZABETH runs through the woods, looking about her at any strange sound. The TENTH DOCTOR runs away from the ruins, smacking his machine.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Come on! Know you're there!

ELIZABETH pants as she hurries through the woods. We hear the gurgling sound of the Zygon and see a foot as it follows her. ELIZABETH turns around and screams as it comes towards her. The TENTH DOCTOR runs through the wood but stops when he sees a rabbit snuffling for food on the top of an overgrown stump.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Oh, very clever. Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm 904 years old. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the oncoming storm, the bringer of darkness, (squats down beside the stump) and you are basically just a rabbit, aren't you? OK, carry on - just a...general... warning. (smacks the device)

ELIZABETH: (off-screen)
Doctor!

The TENTH DOCTOR runs towards the call and finds ELIZABETH lying on the ground.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Elizabeth!

ELIZABETH:
That thing...explain what it is! (the DOCTOR helps her stand) What does it want of us?

TENTH DOCTOR:
That's what I'm trying to find out. Probably just your planet.

ELIZABETH 2:
Doctor?

The TENTH DOCTOR turns to see another ELIZABETH, identical to the first.

ELIZABETH 2:
Step away from her, Doctor. That's not me, that's the creature.

ELIZABETH:
How is that possible? She's me. Doctor, she's me!

The TENTH DOCTOR takes out his machine once again and aims it at them.

ELIZABETH 2:
I am, indeed, me. A compliment that cannot be extended to yourself.

The two queens circle each other.

ELIZABETH:
Extraordinary! The creature has captured my exact likeness - this is exceptional.

ELIZABETH 2:
Exceptional? A Queen would call it impertinent.

ELIZABETH:
A Queen would feel compelled to admire the skill of the execution - before arranging one.

TENTH DOCTOR:
(shakes device) Ah! It's not working!

ELIZABETH:
One might surmise the creature would learn quickly to protect itself from any simple means of detection.

The machine goes ding.

ELIZABETH 2:
Clearly you understand the creature better than I. But then you have the advantage.

A fissure opens in the air above them.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Back, both of you, now! That's a time fissure, a tear in the fabric of reality. Anything could happen!

A fez lands at his feet.

TENTH DOCTOR:
For instance... a fez.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, SMALL GALLERY, DAY

The DOCTOR continues to stare at the painting.

KATE:
This way.

The painting swings open on hinges to reveal a dark passageway.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, PASSAGE, DAY

KATE enters the passage and lights flicker on to reveal shrouded statues set in alcoves along the walls. There is something like sand covering the floor.

KATE:
Welcome to the Under Gallery. This is where Elizabeth I kept all art deemed too dangerous for public consumption.

CLARA follows KATE and the DOCTOR enters last, walking slowly on the dust. He bends over and scoops it up, letting it run through his fingers.

DOCTOR:
Stone dust.

KATE:
Is it important?

DOCTOR:
In 1,200 years, I've never stepped in anything that wasn't. (stands and sees OSGOOD hesitating outside) Oi, you! Are you sciencey?

OSGOOD:
Oh, erm. Well, erm...yes. (enters the passage)

DOCTOR:
Got a name?

OSGOOD:
Yes.

DOCTOR:
Good, I've always wanted to meet someone called Yes. Now, I want this stone dust analysed. (pours some into her hand) And I want a report in triplicate, with lots of graphs and diagrams and complicated sums, on my desk, (glances at CLARA) tomorrow morning, ASAP, pronto, LOL. See? Job. (snaps and points at KATE) Do I have a desk?

KATE:
No.

DOCTOR:
(to OSGOOD) And I want a desk!

OSGOOD looks to KATE.

KATE:
Get a team, analyse the stone dust.

KATE and CLARA start to walk away and the DOCTOR follows. OSGOOD wheezes.

KATE:
Inhaler!

OSGOOD uses the inhaler.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, HALL, DAY

KATE leads them through a hall that is lined with paintings – one of which is the “Raft of the Medusa” by Gericault - and display cases. In one of those cases is a fez. The DOCTOR walks past and then turns around, mouthing “Ooh”. As KATE continues on, he lifts the display case lid and places the fez on his head. He holds his hands out in the “ta-da” position.

CLARA:
Someday, you could just walk past a fez.

DOCTOR:
Never going to happen.

They continue on after KATE.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, MAIN, DAY

The room is brightly lit with wood floors. There is shattered glass on the floor. On the wall are more 3D paintings. A scientist takes KATE’S coat.

SCIENTIST:
As you instructed, nothing has been touched. (leaves)

KATE:
This is why we called you in.

CLARA:
3D again.

DOCTOR:
Interesting.

CLARA:
The broken glass?

DOCTOR:
No... where it's broken from. (picks up a piece) Look at the shatter pattern. The glass on all these paintings has been broken from the inside. (throws the piece over his shoulder)

KATE:
As you can see, all the paintings are landscapes - no figures of any kind.

DOCTOR:
So?

KATE:
There used to be.

KATE hands the DOCTOR a tablet bearing the painting with a figure on the path. He lowers the tablet to see that exact painting in front of him without the figure. He looks at the tablet again and then at CLARA.

CLARA:
Something's got out of the paintings?

DOCTOR:
Lots of somethings. Dangerous.

KATE:
This whole place has been searched. There's nothing here that shouldn't be, and nothing's got out.

The fissure appears above them.

DOCTOR:
Oh, no! Not now!

CLARA:
Doctor, what is it?

DOCTOR:
No, not now - I'm busy!

KATE:
Is it to do with the paintings?

DOCTOR:
No, no. This is different. I remember this. Almost remember... (looks up at the fez and takes it off) Oh, of course! This is where I come in. (smiles at CLARA and KATE before throwing the fez into the fissure) Geronimo-o... (runs at the fissure)

CLARA:
(steps forward) Doctor!

KATE:
(grips CLARA’S arm) Wait.

The DOCTOR jumps through the fissure.

EXT. WOODS, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

The DOCTOR lands on the ground, face-down as the TENTH DOCTOR and both ELIZABETHS watch. He groans before standing. The TENTH stands and puts on the fez as he stares at the newcomer.

ELIZABETH:
Who is this man?

TENTH DOCTOR:
That's just what I was wondering.

DOCTOR:
Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect. (walks over) Oi! (swipes the fez) Ha! Matchstick Man!

The two stare at each other.

TENTH DOCTOR:
You're not...

They both reach into their jacket pockets and TENTH reveals his sonic first. The DOCTOR reveals his and activates it with a flourish.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Compensating?

DOCTOR:
For what?

TENTH DOCTOR:
Regeneration - it's a lottery.

They each close their sonics, flip them and put them away in a mirror image.

DOCTOR:
Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? "I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool - oops, I'm wearing sandshoes!"

TENTH DOCTOR:
What are you doing here? I'm busy.

DOCTOR:
Oh, busy? I see, is that what we're calling it, eh? (picks up fez and puts it on) Eh? Hello, ladies. (bows to the ELIZABETHS)

TENTH DOCTOR:
Don't start.

DOCTOR:
Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business.

TENTH DOCTOR:
One of them is a Zygon.

DOCTOR:
Urgh... I'm not judging you.

There is a whooshing as the fissure opens above them. They each put on their glasses and look up. They then look at each other and “ooh” the other’s eyewear.

BOTH:
Oh, lovely!

DOCTOR:
(takes off glasses and walks back to the ELIZABETHS) Your Majesties...probably a good time to run.

ELIZABETHS:
But what about the creature?

TENTH DOCTOR:
Elizabeth, whichever one of you is the real one, turn and run in the opposite direction to the other one.

ELIZABETHS:
Of course, my love!

ELIZABETH:
Stay alive, my love. I am not done with you yet. (kisses him passionately and runs off)

TENTH DOCTOR:
Thanks. Lovely.

The DOCTOR stares at him, stunned.

ELIZABETH 2:
I understand. Live for me, my darling. We shall be together again. (kisses him and runs in the opposite direction from the first)

TENTH DOCTOR:
Well, won't that be nice?

DOCTOR:
One of those was a Zygon.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Yeah.

DOCTOR:
Big red rubbery thing. Covered in suckers.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Yeah.

DOCTOR:
Venom sacs in the tongue.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Yeah, I'm getting the point, thanks.

DOCTOR:
Nice.

CLARA: (through fissure)
Doctor? Is that you?

DOCTOR:
Ah! Hello, Clara! Can you hear me?

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, MAIN, DAY

CLARA and KATE look up at the fissure.

CLARA:
Yeah, it's me, we can hear you. Where are you?

DOCTOR:
(to TENTH) Where are we?

TENTH DOCTOR:
England 1562.

CLARA:
Who are you talking to?

BOTH:
Myself.

KATE:
Can you come back through?

DOCTOR:
Physical passage may not be possible in both directions. It's... Ah! Hang on! Fez incoming! (throws fez into the fissure)

CLARA and KATE wait for it to appear.

CLARA:
Nothing here.

TENTH DOCTOR:
So where did it go?

INT. BARN, DAY

The WAR DOCTOR picks up the fez and dusts it off.

CLARA: (through fissure)
Who's he talking to?

KATE: (through fissure)
He said - himself.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, MAIN, DAY

KATE takes out her phone and heads for the exit.

KATE:
Keep him talking. Malcolm?

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, HALL, DAY

KATE continues through the hall on her way out.

KATE:
Malcolm, I need you to send me one of my father's incident files - codenamed Cromer. '70s or '80s, depending on the dating protocol.

The shadow of a Zygon appears on the wall as KATE continues on.

EXT. WOODS, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

TENTH DOCTOR:
OK, you used to be me, you've done all this before - what happens next?

DOCTOR:
I don't remember.

TENTH DOCTOR:
How can you forget this?!

DOCTOR:
Hey, hang on, it's not MY fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention. Reverse the polarity!

They each take out their sonic screwdriver and use it on the fissure.

DOCTOR:
It's not working.

TENTH DOCTOR:
We're both reversing the polarity!

DOCTOR:
Yes, I know that.

TENTH DOCTOR:
There's two of us - I'm reversing it, and you're reversing it back again! We're confusing the polarity.

There is a whoosh of air as the WAR DOCTOR comes through, landing on his feet.

WAR DOCTOR:
Anyone lose a fez?

TENTH DOCTOR:
You. How can you be here? More to the point, WHY are you here?

WAR DOCTOR:
Good afternoon. I'm...looking for the Doctor.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Well...you've certainly come to the right place.

WAR DOCTOR:
Good! Right! Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course! Are you his companions?

DOCTOR:
His companions?

WAR DOCTOR:
They get younger all the time! Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor...

Each Doctor holds up his sonic screwdriver and activates it.

WAR DOCTOR:
Really?

DOCTOR:
Yeah.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Really.

WAR DOCTOR:
You're me? Both of you?

TENTH DOCTOR:
Yep.

WAR DOCTOR:
Even that one?

DOCTOR:
(indignant) Yes!

WAR DOCTOR:
You're my future selves.

BOTH:
Yes!

WAR DOCTOR:
Am I having a mid-life crisis?

The WAR DOCTOR takes a step forward and the others back up a step and aim their screwdrivers at him.

WAR DOCTOR:
Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost!

They lower the sonics.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Still...loving the posh, gravelly thing. It's very convincing.

DOCTOR:
Brave words, Dick Van Dyke.

A patrol of soldiers approaches through the woods led by Lord BENTHAM.

BENTHAM:
Encircle them!

The soldiers circle the Doctors, aiming their pikes at them. The Doctors stand back-to-back, their sonics back out and aimed at the soldiers.

BENTHAM:
Which of you is the Doctor? The Queen of England is bewitched. I would have the Doctor's head.

WAR DOCTOR:
Well, this has all the makings of your lucky day.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, MAIN, DAY

CLARA is listening to the Doctors through the fissure when KATE returns.

CLARA:
I think there's three of them now.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS, DAY, ENGLAND 1562

KATE: (through fissure)
There's a precedent for that.

BENTHAM:
What is that?

WAR DOCTOR:
Oh, the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do, assemble a cabinet at them?

The Doctors look at each other and lower the screwdrivers.

BENTHAM:
That thing...what witchcraft is it?

DOCTOR:
Ah, yes! Now that you mention it, that is witchcraft, yes, yes, yes. Witchy-witchcraft. Hello? Hello in there? Excuse me. Hello! Am I talking to the wicked witch of the well?

KATE:
He means you.

CLARA:
Why am I the witch?

DOCTOR: (through fissure)
Clara?

CLARA:
Hello?

DOCTOR:
Clara, hi, hello. Hello. Would you mind telling these prattling mortals to get themselves begone?

CLARA:
What...he said.

DOCTOR:
Yes, tiny bit more colour.

CLARA:
Right. Prattling mortals, off you pop, or I'll turn you all into frogs.

BENTHAM starts at that declaration.

DOCTOR:
Oh, frogs, nice. You heard her.

CLARA:
Doctor, what's going on?

DOCTOR:
It's a...timey-wimey thing.

WAR DOCTOR:
Timey...what? Timey-wimey?

TENTH DOCTOR:
I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.

ELIZABETH walks into the clearing.

SOLDIERS:
The Queen!

Everyone kneels down on the ground but the Doctors.

ELIZABETH:
You don't seem to be kneeling. How tremendously brave of you.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Which one are you? What happened to the other one?

ELIZABETH:
Indisposed. Long live the Queen!

SOLDIERS:
Long live the Queen!

ELIZABETH:
Arrest these men. Take them to the Tower.

TENTH DOCTOR:
(points at ELIZABETH) That is not the Queen of England - that's an alien duplicate!

DOCTOR:
And you can take it from him, cos he's really checked.

TENTH DOCTOR:
Oh, shut up!

DOCTOR:
Venom sacs in the tongue.

TENTH DOCTOR:
(lowers arm and faces DOCTOR) Seriously, stop it!

DOCTOR:
No, hang on, the Tower! Did you say the Tower? Ah, yes, brilliant, love the Tower. Breakfast at eight, please. Will there Wi-Fi?

WAR DOCTOR:
Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

DOCTOR:
(to WAR) Yes! No! (to ELIZABETH) I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators, Sandshoes and Grandad!

WAR DOCTOR:
Grandad?

TENTH DOCTOR:
They're not sandshoes.

WAR DOCTOR:
Yes, they are!

ELIZABETH:
Silence! The Tower is not to be taken lightly.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, UNDER GALLERY, MAIN, DAY

ELIZABETH: (through fissure)
Very few emerge again.

KATE:
Dear God, that man's clever. Come on! (heads for door)

CLARA:
Where are we going?

KATE:
My office. Otherwise known as the Tower of London.

Part 2
 
 
 
I Happen To Have No Dress In My Cabin: [drwho] rory planet!sarah531 on December 19th, 2013 05:20 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, thank you for doing this.
jpgrjpgr on December 19th, 2013 11:56 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. Always a labor of love. :)
ShadowTurquoise: Eleven 2shadowturquoise on December 20th, 2013 02:30 am (UTC)
What an incredible labor of love. Thank you!
jpgr: DW 11 & Clarajpgr on December 20th, 2013 03:20 am (UTC)
That's exactly what it was. Hopefully Christmas won't take as long.
nunewesennunewesen on February 22nd, 2014 10:22 am (UTC)
THANK YOU!