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03 June 2012 @ 11:07 am
Transcript: 1x13 Game, Set, Muurder  



1985

EXT. SPENCER HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are sitting at the picnic table playing “Battleship”. All we see is their eyes peering over the top of the game.

GUS:
B4.

SHAWN:
Miss. A7.

GUS:
Hit. D9.

SHAWN:
Miss. B6.

GUS:
Hit. (puts in a peg as SHAWN sinks another ship) Shawn!

SHAWN:
What?

HENRY is taking out the garbage when he hears the boys grunting. He drops the bucket and runs back.

HENRY:
Hey! (finds them fighting on the ground) Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off. Knock it off. What the heck is going on here?

They stop and look up at HENRY.

GUS:
Mr. Spencer, Shawn's been cheating.

SHAWN:
Have not!

GUS:
Are too! You hit my ships every time.

HENRY:
Both of you, on your feet, now. (the boys stand up) Best friends do not accuse each other of cheating. Best friends do not resort to fighting every time they have an argument. You both know that I have a partner on the force, right?

BOTH:
Yes, sir.

HENRY:
Well, we couldn't do our job if we didn't trust each other completely. There are rules to a partnership, and they are the same rules for a friendship, even Battleship, but those rules don't work without what?

BOTH:
Trust, sir.

HENRY:
That's right. (looks at SHAWN’S board) Shawn! Over here, now. Why aren't there any of your ships on the board?

GUS:
I knew it!

HENRY:
Cheating. You're grounded.

SHAWN:
But, Dad!

HENRY:
(walks SHAWN over to the table) And for the next two months, you are going to play with one less piece.

SHAWN:
But that's not fair!

HENRY:
Exactly, Shawn. Now you know what it feels like.

PRESENT DAY

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

SHAWN and JULIET are walking through the hall by the main entrance.

JULIET:
Shawn, I can't just give you a case because Gus is out of town this weekend and you're lonely.

SHAWN:
Fine. Maybe together we can figure out how I can be less lonely. (puts hand to his head) Wait, I'm getting something. Baby oil.

JULIET walks away. Down the hall, SHAWN sees an older man in a track suit talking with VICK. He hands her a photo.

MAN:
This is a photo from about a year ago.

SHAWN sees the photo of a young girl with a ponytail and sweatband around her head. She is holding a trophy.

MAN:
And this is from last week.

The MAN shows VICK an article with a photo of the same girl playing tennis.

VICK:
Thank you. We'll call you if we turn anything up on her, Mr. Sirtis. (shakes his hand)

SIRTIS:
I appreciate your help, Chief.

VICK:
Our pleasure.

SIRTIS leaves and LASSITER walks over to VICK as she enters her office.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

LASSITER:
I'm telling you, I can make the time, Chief.

VICK:
Your plate is full, detective.

LASSITER:
I already pulled the old file.

JULIET follows LASSITER into the office.

VICK:
If any of your other cases suffer, then I will yank you right off of this case...

SHAWN, wearing a woman’s scarf as a blindfold, walks into the door of VICK’S office before making it into the office proper.

LASSITER:
Spencer, what the hell are you doing?

SHAWN:
I'm trying something. I feel conventional vision is weakening my skills.

JULIET:
Is that my scarf?

SHAWN:
I... I'm getting "service." "Return service." No. A net. A fish net? No. I l-O-Ve somebody. (puts his hand on LASSITER’S head) Now I'm getting Grecian Formula. That's weird. (LASSITER removes SHAWN’S hand with for force than required) It's not about what's there. It's about what's missing. Tennis equipment. No. (grunts like a female player) A tennis player is missing. (removes scarf) Bjorn Borg is missing! No. Who's missing?

VICK:
Congratulations, Mr. Spencer. You've just joined the case.

LASSITER:
What?

VICK:
We can all pitch in. (hands SHAWN the photo) Deanna Sirtis was supposed to meet her father, Leonard, at the airport last night.

JULIET:
They were flying to Tokyo for a tournament, but she never showed up. The last time anyone saw her was at tennis practice that morning.

SHAWN looks over the photo to the file on VICK’S desk and sees a headline about a stalker.

SHAWN:
Has anyone checked out her stalker?

JULIET:
Felix Alvarez? We're looking into him, since we know he broke into her house a few months ago.

VICK:
What we need from you now is to psychically locate Deanna while we follow leads using conventional methods.

SHAWN:
You mean Lassie and I can work together?

LASSITER:
Yeah, but separate.

SHAWN:
Should we synchronize our watches?

LASSITER:
You're not wearing a watch.

SHAWN:
That's a good point. Chief, I'd like to put in a requisition order for a new watch. Lassie, can you sign for that?

VICK:
All right, that's enough. Just...Now, let's go do your jobs. All of you.

LASSITER takes the file from the desk and they all head for the door. SHAWN and LASSITER try to fit through the door at the same time. LASSITER glares at SHAWN who then holds his arm out to let the detective goes first. Before LASSITER could make it through, SHAWN went first. LASSITER turns to VICK.

LASSITER:
Thank you.

**************************************************************************
PSYCH

“Game, Set, Muuurder”
By
Anupam Nigam

STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
And
Corbin Bernsen

DIRECTOR
James L. Conway

**********************************************************************


EXT. PARK, DAY

GUS stands on top of a monolith. Below him, a large group of people are standing, holding a large sheet. They are chanting GUS’ name. He takes a deep breath and falls backwards, landing in the center of the sheet. They lower him gently to the ground and applaud as he stands. His cell phone rings and he steps away to answer it.

GUS:
Hello?

SHAWN:
Dude, how long till you come back?

GUS:
We just got here.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN is on the phone with GUS, feet up on the desk. He has the squeaky frog toy in his hand.

SHAWN:
But you can come home during the weekend, right?

GUS:
This is a weekend, Shawn. It's a retreat with trust exercises to build up a sense of teamwork around the camp.

SHAWN:
Camp? You didn't say you were camping. Are you making s'mores? Can I have some? Have you done "who's got my golden arm" yet? Let me come do it.

GUS:
Shawn, what do you need?

SHAWN:
Have you ever heard of Deanna Sirtis?

GUS:
She's a tennis player. Local. Ranked in the low 100s.

SHAWN:
She's a missing tennis player, ranked 147, and she's our new case.

GUS:
I can't, Shawn. Reingold just retired.

SHAWN:
Ah, yes, Reingold. What the hell does that mean?

GUS:
It means they're reassigning his clients, Shawn. He has this one doctor with a huge practice. Dr. Magnotti. He prescribes in bulk, Shawn. I'm talking Costco bulk. I could make my monthly quota in like a day, but to get to him, I got to schmooze my supervisor, so you're on your own this time.

A WOMAN comes running up to GUS holding a stick.

WOMAN:
Gus! Guess what, Gus...

GUS:
(to SHAWN) Hold on.

GUS places the phone against his chest but SHAWN still hears.

WOMAN:
We just elected you to be the first one to hold the sharing stick… (hands him the stick)

GUS:
What?

WOMAN:
…in the sensitivity circle tonight.

GUS:
All right, this is great!

WOMAN:
Okay. (leaves)

GUS:
All right. Oh, gosh.

SHAWN:
That's funny. It sounded like someone just said "sharing stick." Dude, get out of there.

GUS:
I have no choice. I hate the stupid sharing stick. But I couldn't get out of this even if I wanted to.

SHAWN:
I've taken care of that already.

TOM, the man leading the retreat comes over to GUS. His face is green.

TOM:
Burton! Why haven't you painted yourself green?

GUS:
Excuse me?

TOM:
We're all painting ourselves green. It's an envy-retention thing. Oh, it doesn't matter now. I just heard about your grandmother.

GUS:
My grandmother? (looks at his phone realizing this is SHAWN’S doing)

TOM:
Slipped in the tub. Broken hip. Go square her away and get back here as soon as you can.

GUS hands TOM the sharing stick and runs off.

INT. DEANNA’S BEDROOM, DAY

The walls are covered with photographs of DEANNA. One shows her with a manicure with a palm tree on her nail.

SHAWN:
Well, at least we won't forget what she looks like.

SIRTIS:
My daughter definitely liked having her photo taken. I think it's what she liked most about winning. Photography was her hobby, too. But we don't have a lot of time for hobbies.

GUS notices a security camera above the door.

GUS:
You keep a security camera in her room?

SIRTIS:
That guy, Felix Alvarez, the one the cops are looking for now, after he broke in, we beefed up security.

GUS:
I remember reading about that break-in here. It must have been traumatic for her.

SIRTIS:
Yeah. It felt like she never got back to her former self as a player.

SHAWN:
Mr. Sirtis, the spirits can be, bashful.

GUS:
Yeah.

SHAWN:
Sometimes grumpy, sleepy, dopey…

GUS:
Shawn.

SHAWN:
Sneezy…

GUS:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
What I'm saying is (inhales) they won't talk to me unless no one is in the room except myself and my compatriot.

GUS:
That's me.

SHAWN:
That includes security cameras.

SIRTIS:
I'll get it turned off.

SHAWN:
Thank you, sir.

GUS:
Thank you.

SIRTIS leaves the room and SHAWN and GUS begin to look around the room.

GUS:
Cameras in her room? Can you say "control freak"?

SHAWN:
Can you say "typical sports dad"?

SHAWN finds a jewelry box on a shelf and opens it.

SHAWN:
Whoa!

GUS:
(turns and looks at him) What?

SHAWN:
These diamonds pretty much nail the four Cs. I bet they're from daddy.

GUS:
Yeah.

GUS turns back to examining the bureau and SHAWN sees a small ring off to the side that is of lesser quality than the other pieces.

SHAWN:
Except for this one. (takes it out) Look. This is way too cheap. You see how the gold chips off when you slide it around? This is from somebody else. Somebody who's not loaded. (hands the ring to GUS)

GUS:
This is an eternity ring. You're supposed to wear this all the time, and it's usually given to you by someone, you know, intimate. (slips it on his pinkie)

SHAWN:
Why do you know that?

GUS:
I gave one to Jessica Chan.

SHAWN:
Ah, yes. Jessica Chan. And how long was eternity for the two of you?

GUS:
Three months, but they were awesome months. Except for the end part. (tries to pull the ring off)

SHAWN:
Right, I'd never seen a girl lie about entering the Witness Protection Program.

GUS:
She wasn't lying, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Gus, I saw her at Starbucks.

GUS:
You can't be sure of that.

SHAWN:
She was wearing a name tag. She had a plaque on the wall. Employee of the month. Her hobbies were hiding and... lying about hiding.

GUS:
(finally gets ring off) Fine. Whatever. Drop it. My point is, why isn't Deanna wearing hers all the time?

SHAWN:
She clearly has someone daddy doesn't approve of. We find the mystery lover, we find her. (walks off dramatically)

GUS:
Dude, why don't I ever get to say stuff like that? (follows after SHAWN)

EXT. COFFEE SHOP, BEACH, DAY

LASSITER is walking out of the shop on his cell, coffee in his other hand.

LASSITER:
All right, get her down to the station, take her statement. Nail down the last time she saw Deanna. I'm on my way in now. (ends call)

SHAWN and GUS walk up behind him.

SHAWN:
I'm sensing you're drinking a... non-fat vanilla half-caf with lots of whipped cream but without your usual pink straw.

LASSITER:
(stops and turns) What, are you two stalking me now? Or did you come to tell me where the missing girl is?

SHAWN:
No.

LASSITER turns back and continues walking away.

SHAWN:
But, I did divine that Deanna has a secret boyfriend, which sounds like a lead to me.

LASSITER:
(stops and turns) Yeah, we're looking into all her relationships. But you see, it's my job to investigate people with things like, you know, motive, means, and opportunity. Stop following me. (continues on and SHAWN and GUS follow with exaggerated steps) What did I say?

(turns)

SHAWN:
Look, man, I've been meaning to have the same conversation with you about leading me. To be honest, I'm sick of it. We either walk side by side or not at all.

A horn honks and HENRY pulls up in his truck. LASSITER, SHAWN and GUS walk over. HENRY gets out and talks to them over the bed of the pick-up.

HENRY:
Shawn, six months ago, I called you up, as or not you wanted any of this junk.

SHAWN:
How come you only call me to come pick up stuff?

HENRY:
You didn't listen. Now I'm donating all of it to Goodwill. I'm on my way there right now, so you've got about 30 seconds. Last looks.

SHAWN starts going through the items in the truck.

SHAWN:
Whoa! (pulls out a T-shirt) No, no, no. You cannot throw out my Whitesnake t-shirt. You can't get this in stores anymore.

GUS:
(sees an item in the truck) That is… (takes it out) This is my Airwolf windbreaker. I've been looking for this for like five years now. Why did you take this? I never even saw you wear it.

SHAWN:
Of course I didn't wear it. I took it so you wouldn't. Don't put it on. (GUS puts on the jacket) Gus, nobody had an Airwolf jacket except Jan-Michael Vincent.

LASSITER:
Whoa. (reaches into the truck) This looks like a custom Sak-Hart graphite rod and reel.

HENRY:
That's right. Good eye.

LASSITER:
You can't throw something like this away.

HENRY:
It's 15 years old.

LASSITER:
15? It looks brand new.

HENRY:
Well, that's because it's never been used. Bought it for him.

LASSITER:
Man, I have been itching to get out on the blue and hook some snapper, but you know what a chore it is to get the boat, and...

HENRY:
You're welcome to come with me tomorrow morning. Boat leaves at 5:00 a.m. sharp. Princess here, never could get him up.

SHAWN:
Look, the American Medical Association clearly states that the proper amount of sleep...

LASSITER:
Well, if you're sure you don't mind a little company?

HENRY:
If you're sure you can be there at 5:00 a.m.

LASSITER:
I'll be on the docks at 4:15. (picks up coffee) Spencer. (leaves)

HENRY slaps the side of the truck before getting in and driving away.

SHAWN:
What just happened here?

GUS:
(takes off jacket) I think your dad just made his first play-date.

SHAWN:
It's not funny.

GUS:
It is.

SHAWN:
He gave away my custom something-something pole. I loved that thing.

GUS:
You gonna to get it back?

SHAWN:
No, we are going to the Vista Rica health and racquet club.

GUS:
Now is not the time for a steam, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Gus, Deanna was seen practicing there the morning she disappeared. If she's some sort of tennis star, she probably goes there a lot.

GUS:
(puts a hand on SHAWN’S arm) Maybe someone saw her with her mystery lover! How did that sound?

SHAWN:
It feels like you're pushing. You're pressing.

EXT. VISTA RICA CLUB, TENNIS COURT, DAY

SHAWN and GUS step onto the court where a teenage GIRL is practicing serves.

GUS:
Deanna's coach is in Tokyo, but the manager said this girl was here practicing the last time Deanna was.

SHAWN:
Sweet.

GUS:
Excuse me. Can we talk to you for a second?

GIRL:
I only have 11 minutes left to practice.

SHAWN:
Yeah, but isn't it better if someone's over there to return your serve?

GIRL:
You play?

SHAWN:
No, but this is Vernest Lambert Watkins. He was a junior champion of some junior league. What did you guys call yourselves? The Little Green Fuzzy Men?

GUS:
The Yellow Hornets. But that was like 10 years ago.

SHAWN:
He'll give you a workout. We're just going to have a chat.

GUS:
Racquets over here? (heads to the other side of the court)

SHAWN:
(pushes cart of tennis balls out of the way) Now, I can sense you were here the day Deanna disappeared.

GIRL:
Duh! Everybody knows we hit together. What are you, a genius?

GUS does some warm-up leaps on the other end of the court, racket in hand. He then takes up the receiving position.

SHAWN:
Actually, I'm a psychic, and I don't think I like your tone.

SHAWN tosses her a tennis ball and she serves, acing it past GUS. SHAWN backs away a little.

SHAWN:
Let me rephrase that, and don't read anything into my tone, (gives her another tennis ball) why do you think she didn't show up to that tournament in Tokyo?

The GIRL serves again and GUS hits it back, long.

GIRL:
Out!

GUS:
Out? Out, my ass! You can't be serious! That ball was clearly on the line!

SHAWN:
Long. Long by a hair, buddy.

GUS grunts in frustration and goes back to position.

SHAWN:
Any ideas?

GIRL:
You know what her weakness was?

SHAWN:
Kittens?

GIRL:
Focus. All she thought about was boys.

The GIRL serves again, GUS returns it and she sends it back, hitting GUS. He looks at her in anger.

SHAWN:
Cowboy up there, buddy!

GUS:
Shut up.

SHAWN:
Any boys in particular?

GIRL:
She was not particular at all, but I heard she started hanging out with that Doug Lenmar.

GUS:
Doug Lenmar? He's one of the top-ranked players on the men's tour.

GIRL:
He stinks. No net game. Her father totally freaked when he found out, and told her to end it. Then she tried to be all rebellious, and stormed off the court.

GUS serves and the GIRL plays as she continues to talk with SHAWN. She makes GUS run as she barely moves.

SHAWN:
How grody of her.

GIRL:
"Grody"?

SHAWN:
Grody to the max. Grody with a spoon. Come on work with me. I don't know what the kids are saying these days.

GIRL:
I don't remember anything else. That's all I heard.

SHAWN:
Well, you hear a lot.

GIRL:
Coaches are more gossipy than housewives. Just watch. In five years, she'll be knocked up and living in government-assisted housing.

SHAWN:
It's good to see the game hasn't hardened you.

GUS’ hit goes long and hits the fence.

GIRL:
Out!

EXT. VISTA RICA CLUB, PATH, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk the path from the tennis courts.

GUS:
Okay, so we know she had a secret boyfriend, Doug Lenmar, but if he was in Tokyo, why wouldn't she go to see him?

SHAWN:
Let's find out if he really is in Tokyo. If so, plan B. She was boy-crazy. There's got to be more than one dude in the mix.

GUS:
Maybe she's not missing. Maybe she's hiding.

SHAWN:
To keep her dad off her case. But where would she hide? Ooh.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN has seen a poster ad for a nail salon displaying the design DEANNA had in one of her photos.

SHAWN:
I have the urge to suddenly get my bunions buffed.

INT. NAIL SALON, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are lying back in salon chairs, the polish from their mani-pedis drying. SHAWN is completely relaxed, eyes closed, and GUS is a bit uptight.

GUS:
Shawn, this is completely unnecessary.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Deanna was here. We have to retrace her steps.

GUS:
(whispers) And the paraffin wax dip?

SHAWN:
(whispers) You know how flaky my knuckles get. Two birds, one stone. I've never felt so productive.

GUS:
(whispers) And exactly how much information do you plan on getting from a manicurist that can't speak English?

SHAWN:
(whispers) None so far. Hold on.

SHAWN turns his head so he can watch the girl at the front desk. She is asked by another girl to come into the back office. She does and the desk is free.

SHAWN:
Dude.

They get up from the chairs and waddle over to the computer as they are wearing toe separators.

GUS:
Hurry up!

SHAWN:
(looks up DEANNA on the computer) She was here yesterday.

GUS:
(points) Check that out. (pushes in front of SHAWN)

SHAWN:
Gus, you're going to smudge my gloss.

GUS:
She ordered nail protein solution.

SHAWN:
So she has weak, peeling nails.

GUS:
No, genius. The billing address is her father's place, but the delivery address is someplace else.

SHAWN:
Nice focus, Gus.

GUS:
Thank you.

SHAWN:
Maybe you're ready to take on that little girl again.

EXT. STREET, DAY

GUS and SHAWN walk purposefully down the sunny street.

SHAWN:
Gus, I feel good about this. She's going to be here, safe and sound.

They arrive at the apartment and find police and an ambulance outside.

GUS:
Or not.

SHAWN and GUS walk closer. DEANNA is wheeled out on a stretcher. There is a bloody bandage around her head, a brace on her neck and she is on oxygen. LASSITER and JULIET walk behind.

LASSITER:
All right, I want to talk to her the minute she wakes up. If she wakes up. (puts on sunglasses and leaves)

GUS:
What happened here?

JULIET:
This isn't a missing person case anymore. It's attempted murder. (walks away)

GUS:
Man, even she gets to say stuff like that.

INT. DEANNA’S APARTMENT, DAY

The forensics crew is dusting for prints and taking photographs of the apartment as GUS and SHAWN enter. SHAWN notices a necklace on the floor is cheaper than her other pieces.

SHAWN:
(whispers) That's more crappy jewelry. That means that the working class boyfriend has been here.

The PHOTOGRAPHER notices them.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Hey, aren't you Henry Spencer's kid?

SHAWN:
That I am. (walks over)

PHOTOGRAPHER:
I took a six-week course he taught at the academy. (opens monogrammed equipment bag)

SHAWN:
Lucky you. How was he?

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Uh…

SHAWN:
Yeah, that just about sums it up. You mind if we poke around a little?

PHOTOGRAPHER:
No.

LASSITER and JULIET enter the apartment.

LASSITER:
We do. We mind quite a bit, actually. You know what? Scratch that. I'm going to let you guys stick around and see what real detectives do.

SHAWN:
Sweet! Just let us know when they arrive.

GUS chuckles. LASSITER and JULIET put on latex gloves to search the apartment.

JULIET:
Deanna shared this place with another player on the tour, so her name wasn't on the lease. But Lassiter found one of her close friends. Apparently, they met frequently at that Indian restaurant. (points to restaurant across the street) We canvassed the area with her photo, and the owner of this building recognized her, so... we opened the door, and voila.

SHAWN:
Voila.

LASSITER:
(looking at day calendar) O'Hara, come take a look at this.

JULIET joins LASSITER.

GUS:
Check this out.

GUS and SHAWN walk to a shelving unit that is lined with photographs of DEANNA.

GUS:
I think these were all taken inside this apartment.

SHAWN:
I think you're right.

SHAWN sees a trophy on a shelf in a number of photos. It’s not there now.

SHAWN:
Wait a second.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN points at the photo for GUS before having a “vision”.

SHAWN:
I see something! I see... a trophy... but I'm out of place. I've been... kidnapped!

JULIET:
There is a trophy missing from here, and we know she suffered a blunt force trauma.

LASSITER:
Possibly the weapon. Good work, O'Hara.

GUS:
O'Hara? That was all us!

LASSITER:
I think your tutorial in police work is done now. Goodbye.

GUS is upset. SHAWN looks around and sees two wine glasses missing from the rack and the toilet seat was left up.

SHAWN:
It's cool. I've got everything we need.

SHAWN and GUS leave.

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, NIGHT

SHAWN is sprawled in one of the chairs by the window. GUS gets off the phone and walks over.

GUS:
Deanna is listed as critical but stable for now. She's touch and go for the next 48 hours. (leans on the table between the chairs)

The TV is running an alert on Felix Alvarez using previous arrest photos.

MAN ON TV:
...and is considered to be armed and dangerous. Anyone with information as to the whereabouts of this man...

GUS:
(stands) Gosh! Finding Deanna lit a fire under the department. (turns off TV) Lassiter's been having these advisory alerts run 24/7. (leans against SHAWN’S desk)

SHAWN:
So let me get this straight. Their theory is that Felix followed her to her hide away and showed his love by trying to kill her?

GUS:
Not a terrible theory.

SHAWN:
Let's review, shall we? (jumps onto the chair in a kneeling position) No forced entry. That means she either let the attacker in or he had a key. Sounds like someone she was intimate with. Now, the toilet seat in her apartment was up, so we know there was a guy there recently. I doubt a killer stopped to use the little boys' room, so let's assume the phantom boyfriend stopped by for a matinee. (stands on the chair like he’s surfing) And there were two wine glasses missing from her set, so she probably shared a drink with him, and he grabbed the glasses, which had his fingerprints on them, as he beat a discreet retreat. (jumps down to floor) None of that points to Felix.

GUS:
I got to get back to work. (grabs keys and heads for the door)

SHAWN:
Now? You're going to leave now, when we're up to our necks in intrigue?

GUS:
The case is almost closed. We have the girl. She's still alive. The cops beat us. Let them have this one.

SHAWN:
How can you be so negative?

GUS:
Easy. I need face time with my boss. I already missed the pamper pole trust exercise.

SHAWN:
I'm uncomfortable with you even saying the words "pamper pole." Look, every minute the cops spend looking for Felix, the real attacker breathes easier. Now, we have got to convince them to start looking for other suspects.

INT. SBPD, CONFERENCE ROOM, DAY

VICK is sitting at the head of the table closest to the door with JULIET and LASSITER on her left.

LASSITER:
No. (stands)

VICK:
Unless you can give us something more substantial, Mr. Spencer, we're going to continue the manhunt for Felix Alvarez.

SHAWN:
Manhunt?

VICK:
Mmm-hmm.

Behind SHAWN, LASSITER opens the door.

SHAWN:
Hey, I can project Tommy Lee Jones from The Fugitive, if you'd like. (as Tommy Lee Jones) I want a hard target search for every outhouse, henhouse, cathouse, Waffle House, House, M.D.! (LASSITER puts a hand on his shoulder and escorts him out of the room)

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

SHAWN:
House of Long Shadows?

LASSITER:
What?

The PHOTOGRAPHER comes up behind them and hands LASSITER a large envelope.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Crime scene photos, detective. (passes them)

LASSITER:
It's about time. Were you on a break? Whoa! (catches a hat thrown at him) Hey!

HENRY is waiting for them.

SHAWN:
Dad? Now what?

LASSITER sets the envelope on the counter and opens up the hat.

HENRY:
I just stopped by to drop off this hat for Mr. Lassiter, so he can look the part the next time we go out and catch us some snapper.

LASSITER:
Thanks.

LASSITER and HENRY shake hands.

SHAWN:
The next time you go out and... Isn't that my hat?

HENRY:
What are you doing here?

LASSITER:
Oh, you know, just interrupting an official briefing, and being a general pain in my ass.

HENRY:
Yeah, well, try living with him for 17 years.

SHAWN:
Excuse me. I have a killer to catch. (walks off)

LASSITER:
Good luck with that.

EXT. PARK, DAY

GUS is blindfolded, arms crossed in front of him, as he stands in the center of a group of co-workers. They gently push him as he leans, passing him around the circle. A whistle blows.

TOM:
And time! Nicely done.

GUS pulls off the blindfold and sees SHAWN coming up the walk.

GUS:
Excuse me one second. (goes over to SHAWN) What're you doing here?

SHAWN:
Dude, you turned off your cell phone.

GUS:
Some might take that as a hint, as in, "leave me alone."

TOM, who is back-to-back, tied at the arms and legs with the WOMAN from earlier, comes over.

TOM:
Burton? You're not having visitors, are you? You know my policy on visitors.

GUS:
He's not a visitor. He's...

SHAWN:
(changes the way he talks) Jerry Hathaway. I, too, work at Central Coast. In the lab. (shakes TOM’S hand) Yes, I worked on the mono-thio-huxtable drug. It's for pancake-reactic function.

GUS:
Pancreatic.

SHAWN:
Actually, no, Burton, it was pancake.

GUS:
Really?

SHAWN:
Yes. There are properties in the batter that helped to stabilize the ions we were working with.

WOMAN:
I've never heard of that project.

SHAWN:
It was a great drug. But it caused headaches, stomachaches, toothaches, weight gain, weight loss, balding, severe oily bowel discharge, and, in very rare cases, it made you pee fire.

TOM:
Wow!

SHAWN:
Yeah, so the higher-ups shelved the project, much to my chagrin.

TOM:
I thought I knew all the lab guys. I'm surprised we've never met before.

SHAWN:
I don't make much of an impact on other human beings. It's terrible for my self-esteem. In fact, I've...I've been here all weekend, and this is the first conversation I've had. And Tom, you should know that... nobody made me a nametag. (hangs his head as if embarrassed)

TOM:
You know what we say about that here. Hello. (waves)

SHAWN:
(waves back) Hi, Tom.

TOM:
No, I mean the motto of the weekend. H-E-L-L-O.

GUS:
(whispers to SHAWN) Lop off the last letter, and you got what this weekend really is.

TOM:
Stands for "health, esteem, life, love, openness."

SHAWN:
Oh, that's pretty keen, Tom. You know, in the spirit of openness, I've always looked up to Gus. He's everything I wish I was. Do you think maybe we could work on the next exercise together?

GUS:
No, we can't do that.

TOM:
Burton! I believe your friend is reaching out right now. I think you two would be perfect candidates for the minefield. Burton, you have to keep your eyes closed while your friend leads you through a series of obstacles.

SHAWN:
Oh, Tom, that sounds really bitchin'!

GUS:
Uh, can I talk to him alone for a second?

TOM:
Sure.

GUS:
Oh, great. Thanks. (walks a short distance with SHAWN) Oh, gosh.

SHAWN:
Dude, I've got bad news.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Deanna's doctors say she's showing signs of improvement.

GUS:
Shawn, in the health care community, we call that good news.

SHAWN:
Given what we already know? Does she know her attacker?

GUS:
Yes.

SHAWN:
Does that mean when she wakes up she can ID him?

GUS:
She IDs him and the case is closed. Where's the downside?

SHAWN:
Because if you're the bad guy and you know your victim can wake up and point the finger at you...

GUS:
(dramatically) He'll find her and finish her off.

SHAWN:
You're just not landing it. The point is Deanna's life is in danger now more than ever, and she needs us.

TOM and the WOMAN walk over.

TOM:
Burton, is there a problem?

SHAWN:
Yes, Tom, I'm afraid there is. Burton's grandmother just called. She's broken her hip.

TOM:
I thought you dealt with that issue already.

GUS:
The other side. Tore the MCL. She did it while trying to do her line dancing classes.

TOM:
Why was an 87 years old woman with a broken hip attending a line dancing class?

GUS:
Attending? (scoffs) She was teaching it.

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

LASSITER and JULIET are bringing in a handcuffed ALVAREZ. His GRANDMOTHER is walking behind LASSITER.

GRANDMOTHER:
You leave my grandson alone! He's a good boy!

LASSITER:
Oh, yeah? Then why did he run when he saw us coming?

ALVAREZ:
Because you guys got my face plastered all over the TV for something I didn't do, man. I'm innocent! I don't even think about her anymore.

SHAWN and GUS arrive at the station.

LASSITER:
Yeah, that's what all crazy stalkers say.

SHAWN and GUS run up to them.

SHAWN:
Stop! Just stop. (places his hand on ALVAREZ’S head)

ALVAREZ:
Hey, what the hell?

LASSITER:
What are you doing? Get your hand off him.

GUS:
He's reading his guilt. Give him a second.

SHAWN:
Hamana, Hamana, Hamana, Hamana, (exaggerated Latino accent) Ricky, Enrique, Geraldo, Menudo, Richie! (pulls his hand away as if shocked and falls back against a column)(normal voice) This man is true to his word. He is pure of heart. He's made... many mistakes in his past. Dirty, filthy mistakes. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know here. He didn't attack Deanna.

An officer hands LASSITER a large sealed, evidence bag containing a trophy.

LASSITER:
Really? If he's so pure of heart, why did we find the trophy that she was nearly bludgeoned to death within his car?

Everyone is stunned including ALVAREZ and his GRANDMOTHER. SHAWN looks to JULIET and mouths “What?”. She presses her lips together and nods.

EXT. WATERFRONT, DAY

JULIET is sitting on a bench, her back to the water and pier. On her lap is an accordion folder. SHAWN jogs up and sits on the other side and leans back like he’s re-enacting a scene from a spy movie.

SHAWN:
The raven crows only at midnight, dusk is for the rooster's cackle.

JULIET:
What?

SHAWN:
Jules, that's your cue to cackle.

JULIET:
Shawn, I don't have a cackle in my repertoire.

SHAWN:
Well, you called for this secret meeting. We should use code speak in case people are listening.

JULIET:
It's not secret. Just away from prying eyes.

SHAWN leaps over the back of the bench so he’s sitting next to her.

SHAWN:
So, what do you propose? Should we rent one of those pedal boats that looks like a swan?

JULIET:
We could, or you could just take these. (hands him a file from the folder on her lap)

SHAWN:
What is this?

JULIET:
Copies of the files on Felix Alvarez.

SHAWN:
Why are you giving these to me? (looks through file)

JULIET:
I talked to the kid, his grandmother, and the court-ordered psychiatrist he had to see after breaking into Deanna's house. They all say the months of counseling paid off. He was rehabilitated. And he had a medical condition that required dialysis. My great aunt needed dialysis, and she was always knock-down, drag-out, winter-bear tired afterward.

SHAWN:
And his last appointment probably left him way too "winter-bear tired" to stalk and attack Deanna.

JULIET:
Exactly.

SHAWN:
And just what did the police do when you fed them this peculiar piece of info-gristle?

JULIET:
They spit it out. In fact, they are so certain that he is the guy, they've taken the 24 hour guard off Deanna's hospital room.

A woman seats on the other end of the bench and SHAWN looks at her as she closes the file. He nods to JULIET, gets up and starts walking. JULIET joins him.

SHAWN:
Jules, that's no good. You got to get security back on that door. The killer will come back. He'll try again.

JULIET:
At the very least, her dad is always by her bedside.

SHAWN:
Have you seen that dude? She needs more security than a 60 year old in a tracksuit. Look, without protection, you might as well just send the killer an invitation saying "Hey, come on back, finish the job." I wonder if they make invitations for that.

JULIET:
I don't see why not. You can send an e-vite for anything.

SHAWN:
This is true.

JULIET:
Lassiter thinks it's an "inefficient use of manpower." (hands him another file)

SHAWN:
I'll see what I can divine. What's this?

JULIET:
That's the rest of paperwork on Felix's first break-in. I figured you need all this information to do your psychic stuff.

SHAWN compares the photos from both crime scenes. The first break-in from DEANNA’S bedroom was messy. The second from the apartment is clean, nothing looking out of place.

SHAWN:
(runs his hand over the photos) I can feel these two crimes were not committed by the same person. But, in order for your brothers in blue to be wrong, we're saying Felix was framed. We're saying it was somebody who knew he'd be targeted by the police.

JULIET:
You're saying it. I'm stealthily lending an ear.

SHAWN:
I'm saying it was an excellent, slam-dunk frame-up. This somebody was a pretty bad guy.

JULIET:
(points) Yes.

SHAWN:
Ugly on the inside. Thought of every detail. A virtual hunchbacked mastermind...

JULIET:
Shawn! Just let me know what you find. Remember, psychic intuition's not going to help this guy. Evidence will. Oh, and one more thing. Roosters don't cackle.

SHAWN:
(scoffs) I beg your pardon?

JULIET:
They cock-a-doodle-doo. (walks away)

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

LASSITER and HENRY are sitting at a table on the porch chatting away having just finished eating the fish they caught earlier. LASSITER is actually not wearing a suit. SHAWN walks into the yard and doesn’t know what to make of it.

SHAWN:
You have got to be kidding me.

HENRY:
Shawn! What are you doing here?

SHAWN:
I don't know. I guess I took a wrong turn and ended up in The Twilight Zone. What the hell's going on here?

HENRY:
What? We caught us some lunch this morning.

LASSITER:
Hooked 'em, cooked 'em, and ate 'em.

SHAWN:
How tribal of you.

HENRY:
Shawn never really was one for roughing it. We went camping once, found him curled up inside his sleeping bag because a raccoon was hunting him.

SHAWN:
Stalking me. The raccoon was stalking me, Dad. And I came to talk to you. Alone.

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, DAY

HENRY takes the dishes to the sink as SHAWN follows him inside.

HENRY:
All righty. So, what's wrong?

SHAWN:
(closes the door) All right, here's the thing.(looks at the fridge and sees a photo of HENRY and LASSITER with a large fish) Whoa! Why is there a picture of Lassiter on your refrigerator?

HENRY:
That's a picture of the fish. I didn't even know he was in there.

HENRY opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of beer as SHAWN goes over to the table.

SHAWN:
What could you guys possibly talk about out there? (sits down and opens the file)

HENRY:
Shawn, that is the beauty part. Nothing. He knows to sit there, shut up, and fish. What, you think we sit out there and we yap about you all day long?

SHAWN:
I can't really wrap my brain around any of it. (spreads the papers on the table)

HENRY:
All right, so what's so important? (drinks his beer)

SHAWN:
I'm working on a case. And I know that they've arrested the wrong guy.

HENRY:
What makes you so sure?

SHAWN:
The MO. This guy in custody, he trashes the girl's house, trashes it, but then, the apartment where they find her is practically sterile. I'm talking about a perfect crime scene. But I cannot find anything in these police reports to back me up.

HENRY:
Right there. You see, right there. That's your first problem.

SHAWN:
What?

HENRY:
The police reports. Shawn, a police report is always from somebody else's point of view. (sits at table) I've written them a ton of them myself, and one thing you cannot do is take them as gospel. All right? So let's run this again. You've been to both crime scenes, right?

SHAWN:
Right. Well, the first one was after the fact, but I've been to both places, yeah.

HENRY:
Okay. So…close your eyes.

SHAWN:
Dad, I didn't come here to take a stupid test. Can't we just talk, as men?

HENRY:
Shawn, would you trust your old man for once, just once? Close your eyes.

SHAWN:
(sighs)Here we go. (closes eyes)

HENRY:
All right, now, I want you to go back to the first crime scene. This poor girl's house. What do you see?

SHAWN:
What do I see? (we see what he sees) Her bed. Tennis trophies. Jewelry box. Mostly nice jewelry. A wall of photos featuring her.

(struggles to remember more)


HENRY:
Come on. Keep going. Keep going, Shawn. What else?

SHAWN:
There is nothing else. The guy was there way before me. Everything looks different now. (opens eyes)

HENRY:
Okay, okay, now let's go to the second crime scene. To this apartment where she was found.

SHAWN:
Can we stop on the way and get donuts?

HENRY:
Shawn, focus. Keep your eyes closed. What do you see?

SHAWN revisits the scene and “sees” the cheap necklace on the floor and the PHOTOGRAPHER shooting pictures out the window. He also sees the shadow cast by the lamp against the wall as measured by a frame.

SHAWN:
(opens eyes) Wait a minute. (looks at the crime scene photos of the shadows and laughs as he stands and gathers the file) Thank you, Dad. I have a crime scene to break into.

HENRY stretches out and SHAWN slaps his hand as he leaves. HENRY puts his arms behind his head and his feet on the chair vacated by SHAWN.

INT. DEANNA’S APARTMENT, DAY

SHAWN opens the door to the apartment and ducks under the criss-crossed police tape. A crouching GUS closes the door quickly behind him.

GUS:
I can't believe you pulled me out of my retreat. I can kiss my chances of getting Dr. Feelgood on my route goodbye.

SHAWN looks at the clocks in the room and they both read 11:15.

SHAWN:
Gus, what time do you have?

GUS:
Where's your watch at?

SHAWN:
It's a key tanning month.

SHAWN walks to one window leaving the crime scene photo at the corresponding area.

GUS:
(checks watch) 2:15.

SHAWN:
2:15. Right. (moves to other window) That's around the same time we were here before. (sticks photo of outside on the window) So why are all these clocks wrong? (sets other photos on the table by the lamp and one on the shelf) Dude, I need you to lay on the ground.
Pretend like you're Deanna.

GUS:
I'm not pretending to be a woman half beaten to death, Shawn.

SHAWN:
You know what? I'm starting to wonder if you have serious trust issues with me.

GUS:
Really?

SHAWN:
Yes. First, you wouldn't do the minefield. Now, you won't lay on the floor and pretend to be an unconscious woman for me. What's going on with you?

GUS:
Two words. Airwolf windbreaker.

SHAWN:
Okay. Two more. Airwolf windbreaker.

GUS:
Battleship.

SHAWN:
Dude, that was like a million years ago.

GUS:
I'm just saying.

SHAWN:
I never cheated again. Now, can we please just do this?

GUS:
What is the point of me pretending to be Deanna?

SHAWN:
Something here is weird, okay? When I was with my dad, I realized that the shadows coming off those two lamps were in the wrong spots. I think someone tampered with this crime scene.

GUS:
Tamp... Who could do that?

SHAWN:
Someone smart. Someone experienced. Which is why we need to recreate the scene so that it is exactly the way it was when the cops got here.

GUS:
All right, fine.

SHAWN:
Fine. Now, in the landlord's statement, he said the body was found here in the supine position, so, please, if you will...

GUS:
Sure. Just tell me what supine means.

SHAWN:
Gus, supine. Su…

GUS:
Mmm-hmm.

SHAWN:
…pine.

GUS:
You don't know what the word means, do you?

SHAWN:
Okay, fine. You win. Mr. Vocabulary wins. (applauds) Mr. Vocab is the big winner tonight, everybody.

GUS:
Thank you. No, please, please, please. (pretends to accept applause from a crowd) It means on your back. (drops to the floor and lies on his back with a sigh and crosses his legs)

SHAWN:
I knew that.

SHAWN goes over to the window and checks the photo of the shadows against the real thing.

GUS:
No, you didn't.

SHAWN:
Okay. This is off. The lamp is in the same spot, but the shadows aren't. And something else is wrong. (moves over to the shelves and checks that photo) There are six pictures on this bookshelf. There are six pictures in this photo.

GUS:
What do you expect?

SHAWN:
Seven. I clearly remember seven photos, Gus. There were two pictures on each shelf, and one shelf with one. That's seven. It was right here, where this box is.

GUS:
(sits on the floor) Can you remember what's in the missing photo?

SHAWN:
(brings up the memory of the missing photo) I'm not... sure.

The door opens and the LANDLORD comes in. GUS pretends to be dead.

LANDLORD:
What the hell's going on?

SHAWN:
(coolly) Nothing, man.

LANDLORD:
Nothing? Is that guy dead?

SHAWN:
(sighs) Damn it. Now you've seen too much.

LANDLORD:
(stammers) I didn't see anything.

SHAWN:
Yeah, you did. You're in this just as deep as I am now. We're going to have to work together.

LANDLORD:
(nervously) Okay?

SHAWN:
I assume this building has an incinerator. Yeah?

LANDLORD:
Yeah.

SHAWN:
Okay. So we just have to chop up the body, and, uh, we put the limbs in little plastic baggies. The torso we're going to have to melt down with a blowtorch...

GUS:
Okay, I've heard enough (gets up)

The LANDLORD runs from the apartment.

GUS:
"Chop up his body"? And then you wonder why I don't trust you. Are we done yet?

SHAWN:
(looks out the window) One last thing.

SHAWN compares the photo of the Indian restaurant to what it looks like at the moment.

GUS:
Hurry up, Shawn.

SHAWN then sees that the lights in the trees outside the restaurant are on in the photo but not at present. He dashes out of the apartment and GUS follows.

EXT. RESTAURANT, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk up to the entrance.

GUS:
Shawn, I left my retreat to solve a crime, not to order takeout.

SHAWN:
That's exactly what we're doing.

A HOSTESS wearing a sari is clearing some plates.

SHAWN:
Hi there. What time do you turn those lights on?

HOSTESS:
At 5:00, for the beginning of the dinner crowd.

SHAWN:
Never any earlier, for any reason whatsoever?

HOSTESS:
It's on a timer.

GUS:
(whispers) What the hell is the point?

SHAWN:
(whispers) I think I know who the killer is. (normal voice) One more question, and this is absolutely critical. Do your samosas come with that red onion chutney?

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

VICK, JULIET and LASSITER are sitting at the table.

LASSITER:
I arraigned Felix today. If he's smart, he'll just plead out. So next is... Jiminy Crickets. What?

GUS has opened the door for SHAWN who is in the midst of an “episode”.

GUS:
He's sensing an anomaly in the space-time continuum.

SHAWN:
It's very serious. It can unravel the fabric of reality itself. We've been trailing it from across town. The distortion is near. (JULIET sneezes) Bless you.

JULIET:
Thank you.

SHAWN:
It's in the photos, in the files! (GUS grabs the file and hands it to SHAWN who rubs his hand over it) Yes. The photos are lying. That is the anomaly. It was the distortion that prevented me from divining dirty Deanna's attacker, but now... now I have a clear image.

LASSITER:
We already know who attacked her.

VICK:
He's right, Mr. Spencer.

SHAWN:
He's wrong. The bludgeoner's close. (hands the folder to GUS) Follow me.

SHAWN leaves and the others follow.

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

SHAWN runs his hands in front of random people he comes across as if feeling their aura.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

SHAWN puts his hands on the head of one of the men at a desk

SHAWN:
Yes... no. No.

SHAWN makes his way to the PHOTOGRAPHER’S desk and reaches his hand out towards him but pulls back with a gasp.

SHAWN:
(points) Bludgeoner.

LASSITER:
What are you, nuts? He works for us!

The PHOTOGRAPHER stands up. SHAWN goes into another vision.

SHAWN:
The photos... look at the photos. Jules, Jules, Jules, what's going on with the lights in the background, in the window?

JULIET:
(checks file) Oh, he's right. The lights in the restaurant are on in these photos. They were off when we found Deanna.

LASSITER:
(grabs photo) What?

PHOTOGRAPHER:
This is crazy. Why would I attack some woman I've never met before?

GUS:
Never met? Didn't you photograph her house when the Felix guy broke in?

SHAWN:
Yes, that's when you met her! Aw, Dude! She liked meeting new people, she liked to party, and she liked to have her photo taken, and guess who takes photos for a living. You! And it was nice, and it was on, and you were giving it to her, and she liked it until she met somebody who
could afford to buy her nicer jewelry than you. She was on her way to see him in Tokyo. You decided to confront her at her apartment. (we see the moment in the apartment) Hey, trophy! Bam! And then you cleaned it all up... and you made it nice, and you left a perfect crime scene. And you came back here and assumed your capacity as police photographer. You scrutinized the photos, making sure there was no trace of your presence in that apartment. Oversight. This bag... (jabs equipment bag with his finger) sure enough, in a photo on her bookshelf. Your bag with your initials that the police have seen a million times. They'd have known it was you. So, what did you do? You waited for the forensics guys to split, and you snuck back inside. Oh, you were so meticulous. You took the time to turn the clocks back to the right time, and you re-photographed the whole scene without the incriminating photo, and you re-submitted those as the originals. But I can feel that you forgot to reset the clocks to the correct time before leaving. Gus... (collapses into a chair with a whimper)

VICK:
Take him into custody until we figure this whole thing out.

Two officers take the PHOTOGRAPHER away. The detectives walk away leaving SHAWN and GUS alone.

GUS:
(dramatically) So, the prophecy's been fulfilled.

SHAWN:
What? What are you talking about? What prophecy?

GUS:
Nothing. I just figured it was finally my chance to say something dramatic.

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN runs into the yard and sees HENRY asleep, stretched out over two chairs.

SHAWN:
Fire!

HENRY is startled awake.

SHAWN:
Hey, Pop!

HENRY:
Shawn, God… (smacks at him with the newspaper)

SHAWN:
(sits) What, are you sleeping one off?

HENRY:
No. I couldn't sleep last night. My back's all out of whack. (reaches for his tackle box and sets it on his lap) Hey, I hear they…they arrested one of the forensics guys.

SHAWN:
Yep. They grilled him like panini. He confessed to the whole thing. And the police found a fake hospital badge at his apartment. They think he was going to try to kill her last night.

HENRY:
How's the girl?

SHAWN:
The doctors say she's going to pull through.

LASSITER walks up the path wearing a suit and carrying a pole.

HENRY:
There he is. You're not going to go out like that, are you?

LASSITER:
Yeah. I can't make it tonight. I've got to work a double. (sets down pole) Hey, I know. Why don't you take Junior here? I'll catch you next week. (starts to walk away)

SHAWN:
Whoa! (gets up and follows after) What are you talking about? Didn't you just work back-to-back shifts on that tennis thing?

LASSITER:
Okay, fine. You got me, all right? He's actually capable of taking all the fun out of fishing. He criticized my pole technique for like three hours. It's holding a pole in the water. What is there to criticize?

SHAWN:
(smiles at LASSITER’S discomfort but defends HENRY) Hey, ease up. That's my pop you're talking about.

LASSITER:
I'm beginning to understand you a little better, Spencer. (leaves)

EXT. PARK, DAY

SHAWN and GUS return to the retreat as everyone is leaving.

TOM:
Burton, you're back.

GUS:
Sorry I missed today's program, sir.

TOM:
Well, it's okay. I tried out a new trust exercise where I pull a rubber band back as far as I can, and I hold it up to my trust partner's eye, and I say "Do you trust me? Do you trust me?"

GUS:
Wow. How did that go?

TOM:
I wish my grip was better. But the cornea is resilient.

SHAWN:
That's true, Tom. I've heard that. Now, Burton here hates to drag his personal life into work matters, but I feel like you should know his dear grandmother somehow managed to dislocate both of her shoulders, too. I think it was the chin-ups she was trying to do on the traction bar.

TOM:
Burton, you have missed almost every exercise we had arranged for this weekend. You left a work function to tend to your ailing grandmother, even if it was detrimental to your career. You know what that tells me? It tells me you really care about people.

GUS:
I do.

SHAWN:
He does.

TOM:
And after getting in touch with my feelings this weekend, I think that's exactly what the Central Coast Pharmaceutical Company is all about.

SHAWN:
Yes.

GUS:
Okay.

SHAWN:
And... Burton's grandmother's going to need a little extra caring after. He would never complain, because I know he loves this job, but if there was any way that his route could be a little less...

TOM:
Save your breath. Burton, I know that everybody here wants to get Dr. Magnotti. Why don't you swap him out for a couple of your less productive clients?

GUS:
Oh, wow. Wow. (shakes TOM’S hand) Thank you, Tom. My grandmother thanks you, as a matter of fact.

TOM:
Well, I tell you what. Once she's feeling better, I want you two to come on over to my house and have dinner with my wife and I.

GUS:
Oh, no. No, we couldn't. We couldn't.

TOM:
Lizzie makes a fondue that'll knock your socks off. Block of cheese about the size of a house cat. We're going to melt it down and gobble it up.

GUS:
Okay.

TOM:
All right.

GUS:
Yeah, sure. We'd be honored.

TOM:
(to SHAWN) And don't be such a stranger.

SHAWN:
Hello, Tom! Hello!

TOM leaves.

GUS:
I'm so screwed.

SHAWN:
Why?

GUS:
He wants to meet my grandmother.

SHAWN:
So?

GUS:
So, you know one of them is dead and the other one's in Jamaica.

SHAWN:
Dude, relax. I know like five people that could easily play your grandmother.

GUS:
Okay, so you know a line-dancing octogenarian who could do chin-ups and has two broken hips?

SHAWN:
Yeah, as long as she can be Chinese. Just trust me.

GUS:
Never mind. (starts to walk away)

SHAWN:
You do trust me, right? (jogs after GUS) I mean, I know it's a silly thing to say after all these years, but we don't have to do these kinds of exercises, do we? (GUS doesn’t answer) Battleship rematch?

GUS:
You know that's right.