?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
15 March 2012 @ 08:14 pm
Transcript: Psych 1x9 Forget Me Not  


1986

EXT. ZOO, DAY

SHAWN and GUS’ class is on a field trip. GUS is walking right up by the teacher. The teacher is leading them through the grounds. There are other parent chaperones – one of whom is HENRY.

TEACHER:
Everyone stay together, please! Our next stop is the primate habitat.

SHAWN:
(to a girl in front of him) Hear that, Trish? Monkeys. We're going to visit your family.

TRISH:
Knock it off, Shawn.

TEACHER:
Now, some people believe that the next animal we're going to see is the ugliest creature in the whole animal kingdom. Does anybody want to guess which animal that is?

SHAWN:
It's definitely got to be Trish. (bounces tennis ball off her back)

TRISH:
I hate you, Shawn Spencer.

HENRY:
Shawn!

SHAWN looks back at HENRY, who motions that he has his eyes on him.

>>LATER>>

The children are watching the ostriches. One looks like it has something in its throat.

BOY 1:
I wonder what it is.

BOY 2:
Whoa!

SHAWN goes over to the TEACHER who is sitting on a shaded bench fanning herself. He sits next to her.

SHAWN:
Ms. Bodansky? I think the ostrich might be choking.

Ms. BODANSKY looks over at the ostrich and we hear it making choking noises.

MS. BODANSKY:
Oh, I wouldn't worry. I'm sure it's just... eating. Yeah, that's... that's how they swallow their food.

SHAWN:
Um, I'm pretty sure that's not food.

INT, SCHOOLBUS, DAY

SHAWN enters the bus followed by HENRY.

HENRY:
A tennis ball, Shawn? What are you thinking? What are you doing throwing a tennis ball at an ostrich? The thing could've died. The zoo would've made me pay for it. And I don't even know what an ostrich costs. (sits down across from SHAWN)

SHAWN:
I didn't do it. I didn't throw the ball!

HENRY:
Stop lying, Shawn. You're only making things worse!

One of the other fathers who had been walking with HENRY, steps onto the bus.

MAN:
Maybe he's telling the truth. Are you, Shawn? Are you telling the truth?

SHAWN:
Yes, sir.

MAN:
Did you see who did throw it?

SHAWN looks out the window at TRISH.

SHAWN:
No, sir, but I think it might have been an accident. I think they meant to hit me.

MAN:
I believe him. He's telling the truth.

HENRY:
With all due respect, Captain, you call the shots at work, not here. You deal with your kid and I'll deal with mine. You. Scoot over. (sits next to SHAWN)

MAN:
I believe you, Shawn. (winks)

The MAN winks and leaves. SHAWN looks out the window and sees the MAN go talk with TRISH.

PRESENT DAY

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN is looking out the window and sees and older MAN and younger WOMAN talking outside. The MAN is carrying a briefcase that is practically covered in Post-It notes.

SHAWN:
Gus.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, come here.

GUS:
What? (comes over to the window)

SHAWN:
Look at this. Isn't that...

GUS:
Trish Connors.

SHAWN:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and her dad.

GUS:
Whoa!

SHAWN:
Wow, she looks...

GUS:
Hot.

SHAWN:
I was going to say "vulnerable”, maybe a little upset, but...

GUS:
I mean, she was cute in high school, but she sure has grown.

SHAWN looks at him.

GUS:
I wonder what Trish and Captain Connors are talking about?

SHAWN:
Why don't I just read her lips.

GUS:
Because you can't?

SHAWN:
Sure I can. Shh. (in high-pitched voice) I'm sorry, Father. I can't fight it any longer. I... love... Shawn. I'm in love with Shawn.

GUS:
(deeper voice) Stop pretending to be insane, daughter.

SHAWN:
"Daughter"? He calls her "daughter"?

GUS:
You know you belong with Gus. He's smarter and funnier. Plus he has abs like Bruce Lee.

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Okay. If we're going to do the lip-reading game, we have to say things that are at least remotely believable.

GUS:
I am.

SHAWN:
"Abs like Bruce Lee"?

GUS:
Dude, they're coming in.

They rush away from the window. GUS takes off his jacket and heads into the kitchen. SHAWN sits in a chair facing away from the door.

GUS:
Act natural.

TRISH:
Hello? Is anybody here? (enters office) Oh, hey. Shawn. Um, you probably don't remember me...

SHAWN:
(has one hand to his temple and raises his other) Don't speak!

TRISH:
Oh.

TRISH waves at GUS who returns the wave before putting a finger to his lips.

SHAWN:
I'm seeing a face. A face from the past. (he turns raised hand so it faces her) We know each other.

TRISH:
Yes, we do.

SHAWN:
I said no speaking.

TRISH:
Oh, sorry.

SHAWN:
We were... classmates.

TRISH:
Yes... Sorry.

SHAWN:
Did we ever kiss?

GUS is not happy with the question.

TRISH:
No.

GUS is relieved by TRISH’S answer.

SHAWN:
I'm sorry. That image may very well be coming from the not-too-distant future. I'm getting a name. Connor. Trish? (spins the chair around) Trish Connors?

TRISH:
Wow.

SHAWN:
Look at you. My God, you look amazing. (stands) What are you doing down here? Wait. Why am I sensing your father?

TRISH:
(amazed) Dad.

CAPT CONNORS enters the office.


Yes. (clears throat)

SHAWN:
Captain Connors. It is so good to see you again, Sir. (shakes CONNORS’ hand) Please, come in, guys! Sit down in our cushy chairs.

TRISH:
Daddy, you remember Shawn and Gus? We went to high school together.


I know who they are. That's Henry's boy. You don't have to speak to me as though I'm a child. Now, (puts on a pair of reading glasses even though he has a set resting on his head) the reason that we came to see you is that there's a, uh... um...(goes through scraps of paper)

TRISH:
Dad, do you want me to hold something, or...


No, no, no, not now, please. I just have to… Oh, damn it.

SHAWN sees writing on the cuff of CONNORS’ shirt.

SHAWN:
Nobody breathe. I'm seeing something. Gus, there was violence. Murder.


Yes.

SHAWN:
There was a murder.


Yes, exactly. A murder. A one-eight-seven, and I solved it. You bet your ass.

GUS:
So, what do you need us for?


Because, damn it, I can't remember who's been killed.

TRISH:
Or who the killer was.

GUS:
Did you go to the police?


Oh, they're useless. All of them. Without evidence, they won't even speak to you. 30 years I spent on that force, but they still refuse to believe me when I tell them that there was a murder and that I solved it. But I'm having trouble remembering. Actually, remembering anything. That's why I'm here. To see if you could... maybe you could look into my head and see what I can't find there. You believe me, don't you?

SHAWN:
Yes, Sir. I believe you.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP, DAY

SHAWN and GUS approach the outside tables of the coffee shop.

SHAWN:
So, "your" Trish says that this is where her father comes every morning for his coffee. He was here when he thought he solved the murder.

GUS:
So?

SHAWN:
So maybe we'll see something that led an ex-cop to believe a murder had been committed. (GUS sits at a table) Plus... double chocolate mango pineapple scones. Apparently made fresh daily. What I'm saying, Gus... the morning is essentially a win-win... (looks down at a neighboring table and sees a crossword puzzle with distinctive “I”s) Oh, no.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Little "i"s. Gus, little "i"s. Little "i"s. We gotta go.

SHAWN starts walking away and GUS follows.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Little "i"s!

GUS:
What about Connors? What about the double chocolate mango pineapple?

SHAWN:
Forget the scones. There's only one person I know who...

Just as they pass the door, HENRY steps out with coffee followed by CONNORS.

HENRY:
Don’t rush off on my account.

SHAWN:
(stops and turns around) Dad.

HENRY:
Shawn, you remember my old Captain, Brett Connors.

SHAWN:
Of course. Captain Connors. How are you, sir? (shakes CONNORS’ hand)


Look at you fellas all grown up. How long's it been, huh?

SHAWN:
About a day.

GUS:
Less, actually.

INT. SBPD, DAY

A young WOMAN is standing in the lobby as police walk past her. She reaches out to JULIET

WOMAN:
Excuse me?

JULIET:
Yes. Can I help you?

WOMAN:
I don't know. My name is Sabrina. Vito. Sabrina Vito. And, um, I think that my boyfriend might be missing. (holds out MISSING flyers with boyfriend’s photo) He hasn't called, and he won't answer the phone, and (voice breaks) I'm a little afraid that something might have happened. So I've been putting these up all over town.

JULIET:
It's okay. Why don't you come over here and sit down.

SABRINA:
Okay.

JULIET takes SABRINA to an area away from the crowd.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are sitting at the same table as HENRY, CONNORS and another old cop friend. SHAWN doesn’t look all that happy to be there.

HENRY:
Oh, that's right, that's right. This chick was sunbathing naked in the plaza.

SHAWN:
No!

CONNORS
You should've seen your old man chasing her with the cuffs. This gal was so covered with suntan oil, every time he grabbed her, she squirted right out of his hands.

They all laugh and SHAWN notices a napkin sticking out of CONNORS’ briefcase with notes on it about the murder he solved.

CONNORS
Reminds me of that 502 that we picked up that New Year's Eve over on Olive Avenue.

As CONNORS is speaking, SHAWN sees the missing poster of SABRINA’S boyfriend.

FRIEND:
How do you remember all this stuff?

CONNORS
Ah, it's easy. Like it was yesterday.

SHAWN:
Speaking of yesterday, Captain, is this the table that you always sit at? Because I'm getting something here. The murder? The murder? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were sitting here when you saw the victim.

HENRY:
Shawn, what are you talking about?

CONNORS
Shut up, Henry. I solved a new murder, and your boy here is the only one who believes me. Now, let the kid work.

SHAWN:
I'm seeing a man... 5'9",5'10", tops. (points at HENRY) Shaved head.

CONNORS
Yes! Yes!

SHAWN:
Yes, yes… Uh, his name. Um, Mifu... Mifune? No. M... May... Mick... Mike! His name is Mike.

CONNORS
He was arguing over in the park with that bastard, Mort Crocker. A mountain lion. He pinned it on a mountain lion.

The others at the table look at each other, not knowing what to say.

CONNORS
Now, if I can just prove it...

HENRY:
All right, look, why don't I play psychic here for a moment? It wasn't a young man. It was a young woman. She's pretty. Brunette hair, nice figure, she liked to play Scrabble with her friends. Her name was Zoe.

CONNORS
Yeah, you're right. That's who was murdered. They said it was a mountain lion, but they were wrong!

EXT. STREET, DAY

HENRY walks to his truck and SHAWN runs after him.

SHAWN:
Dad, you're amazing. Maybe my psychic gift is hereditary.

HENRY:
(sighs) Shawn, Zoe Sharp is a young woman who was found dead 20 years ago, mauled by a mountain lion. Connors and I worked the case. (gets into his truck)

SHAWN:
So she was murdered?

HENRY:
She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A tragedy, yes. A murder, no. Not then, and not now.

SHAWN:
Okay, okay, let's forget Zoe Sharp, may she rest in peace. But Connors still saw the guy on the "missing" poster arguing with Mort Crocker in the park. (HENRY gets out of the truck) What?

HENRY:
Shawn, we have no idea what Connors saw or what he didn't see. The man is ill. Early onset Alzheimer's. His mind, the past, the present, it's all screwy. It's all the same to him. So he sees Crocker standing there in the park, it triggers an old memory of Zoe, next thing you know, (whistles) he's living in the past. (gets back in truck)

SHAWN:
Dad, this guy's your friend. He came to me for help.

HENRY:
Shawn, leave him be. He doesn't need your help to make him look like an old fool. He deserves better than that.

HENRY drives away leaving SHAWN in the street, hands in his pockets.

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

GUS rushes into the office, a newspaper in his hand.

GUS:
Shawn!

SHAWN is sitting on the back of one of the chairs playing a hand-held video game.

SHAWN:
Run, little alien! Run!

GUS:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
What?

GUS:
You're going to want to see this.

SHAWN:
See what?

GUS:
Look.

SHAWN looks at the headline of the newspaper. There is a photo of the missing man, Mike.

SHAWN:
Uh, coincidence?

GUS:
I don't think so.

>>> LATER>>>

SHAWN is showing TRISH the newspaper. We now see a close-up of the headline: “Missing Hiker Dead; Mauled by Mountain Lion”.

TRISH:
So when my father said he solved a murder, you think this is the guy that was killed?

GUS:
Well...

SHAWN:
It seems like a simple question, doesn't it, Trish? I'm afraid the answer is a bit more complicated. You see, as a psychic, it is important that I elicit the proper...

Behind TRISH’S back, GUS mimes SHAWN going on and on. SHAWN sees him and stops his explanation. He mimics the sound of a whip.

SHAWN:
I'm sorry. Raise your hand if you want to hear how my amazing gift works! Gus, you're so much better at this. Why don't you, uh... why don't you tell Trish how it works. I've got some...some stuff I need to do.

SHAWN gets up and heads for the other room.

GUS:
Sure. (escorts TRISH over to his desk) The answer to your question is yes, we do believe that is the victim. Please. (motions for TRISH to sit)

We see SHAWN in the pass-through sitting on a table reading.

TRISH:
So, what's...what's the next step?

GUS:
(sits at desk) Well, being that the authorities believe he was killed by a mountain lion, Shawn is going to attempt to elicit a... a psychic link with the suspect, in order to establish its guilt or innocence.

Through the window, we see SHAWN climb up on the table and imitate a chimp.

TRISH:
And by suspect, you mean...

GUS:
The mountain lion, yes.

TRISH looks into the other room to see SHAWN reading.

TRISH:
Amazing.

GUS:
Not really. It's fairly common for a psychic to be able to read different species of the animal kingdom.

TRISH looks back at GUS and SHAWN stands on the table and does an “undulating” dance move.

TRISH:
No. No, not that.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN looks at him.

TRISH:
The way that he's sitting there, so... quiet. I mean, in... in high school, he was always so loud, and needed attention constantly, and needed to be noticed. And he just would not shut up! He was so annoying. He drove me nuts! But now... (turns around and SHAWN is reading again) I mean, look at him. He's so calm, so unobtrusive. And the way he let you just step in and take over like that. I think he's really matured.

SHAWN looks over at the two of them and flips the book around so it’s right-side up.

GUS:
Yeah. (reluctantly nods) Yeah, yeah, he has.

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, EVENING

HENRY is trimming his hedge when SHAWN sticks the newspaper in front of him.

SHAWN:
Dad!

HENRY:
No! No!

SHAWN:
He was mauled by a mountain lion! You don't find that the least bit coincidental?

HENRY:
Of course it's coincidental, Shawn, but it doesn't make it murder.

SHAWN:
No, it makes it an episode of When Animals Attack: Santa Barbara.

HENRY:
Yes, well, mountain lions do attack in Santa Barbara. In fact, you watch the news, right? That's your source of psychic information? It happens.

SHAWN:
Connors came to me. He says, "I solved a murder".

HENRY:
Shawn, Connors was a good cop. And the thing that made him a good cop is he never accepted the easy answer. But that doesn't mean that he was always right. Obviously, somewhere in his mind, he's confused something that happened 20 years ago with something that's happened today. (throws shears into the ground and walks away)

SHAWN:
Okay, fine. (catches up to HENRY) Talk to me more about 20 years ago. (steps onto the porch blocking HENRY) How does Zoe Sharp connect to Mort Crocker?

HENRY:
(sighs and leans against column) Mort Crocker founded the Mort's family restaurant chain. He was the C.E.O. At the time, Zoe Sharp was his assistant, and there was a rumor... A rumor! That they were having an affair. (goes onto porch and pours himself some water)

SHAWN:
Nice. That's good stuff. And Connors knew about it?

HENRY:
Of course he knew about it. Every good cop makes it his job to know about things like that, but there was never any proof, Shawn. No proof! And even if there was, somewhere, in some corner of his mind there is a memory, a lingering memory, searching for closure.

SHAWN:
But then (holds up paper) he sees Mike here arguing with Mort Crocker.

HENRY:
Connors is not the most reliable witness, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Dad, he's onto something. One mountain lion, two mountain lions? Mountain lions!

HENRY:
You're right. You should talk to a mountain lion. (goes back to his trimming)

INT. VETERINARIAN LAB, DAY

SHAWN and GUS sneak into the lab. Set up on a table is a large cage containing a mountain lion. It growls when they walk in.

SHAWN:
Whoa! (imitates James Earl Jones) Simba! I am your father.

GUS:
I don't think Mufasa said that.

SHAWN:
Ah, Mufasa, Vader, I'm not Rappaport, it's all James Earl Jones.

GUS:
I'm not Rappaport was Ossie Davis.

SHAWN:
It still works. (sees a cut on the lion)

GUS:
We're not even supposed to be in here.

SHAWN:
Relax, I love cats, and it's been proven that cats love me.

GUS:
Well, this cat likes to eat people.

SHAWN:
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. (leans forward and talks like one talks to a baby) You're not going to eat anybody...

The lion roars and SHAWN leans back. They then run for the door to the outer lab

SHAWN:
No!

They stop when they are confronted by a zoo employee.

EMPLOYEE:
What's going on here? Who authorized you to be in here?

SHAWN looks around and sees two nametags on the counter: Dr. Hans Jorgenson and Dr. McTock from Cincinnati Wildlife Park

SHAWN:
Uh... (imitates poor Swedish accent) Please, excuse us. I am Dr. Hans Jorgenson, and this is my very distinguished colleague, Dr. Mc... (makes clicking sounds with his tongue) Tock.

EMPLOYEE:
I’m so sorry. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow.

SHAWN:
(in character) We have arrived early.

EMPLOYEE:
Well, I am...I'm happy you're here. I'm Joan Walker, the zoo director. Let's see... (gets nametags and hands them over)

SHAWN:
(in character) Oh, look!

JOAN:
Dr. Hans Jorgenson.

SHAWN:
(in character) Look what they have done for us!

JOAN:
Dr. Mc...

SHAWN:
(in character) Uh, Dr. Mc... (clicking sounds) Tock.

JOAN:
Oh, Dr. Mc... (clicking sounds) Tock.

SHAWN:
Hmm.

JOAN:
Oh. What?

SHAWN:
(in character) Oh, it is nothing. You see, the Xhosa (Kosov?) language is very difficult to master, yes? It seems you have inadvertently utter Ed a vile Xhosa obscenity.

JOAN:
Oh, I am terribly sorry.

SHAWN:
(in character) Don't worry. My colleague only speaks the English at a very pre-school level, and he is very forgiving of others. For instance, yesterday, I poured the hot cocoa all over his genitals, and I say, "I'm sorry," and it's fine. (points to other room) Now, is that the man-eating lion that we have read so much about?

JOAN:
No, no. He's not a man-eater. No, no. If he attacked, it's only because he was malnourished.

SHAWN:
(in character) So, tell us, why is the cat so malnourished?

JOAN:
I really don't know. We had record rainfall this year. There's an abundance of foliage for his prey to feed on. He should be fat, but he's underweight.

SHAWN:
(in character) Perhaps it is because everyone in California is on the diet. Yeah? All of the surfing boys and the model girls. I mean, someone, anyone, please give them a sandwich, yeah? A meatball? Uh-huh?

The phone rings and JOAN excuses herself.

SHAWN:
(whisper) What is that?

GUS:
(whisper) I have no idea.

SHAWN:
(whisper) Cat doesn't look like it's eaten in weeks.

GUS:
(whisper) Doesn't make sense.

JOAN:
(on phone) Yes, this is Joan. Well, where's Dr. Zamfir? No, no. Stay right there. I might have someone who can help us. (hangs up phone and rejoins them) It seems we have a bit of a situation. One of our warthogs is ready to give birth, but our vet is away on an emergency. Could you please ask Dr. Mc... (SHAWN holds up his hand) the doctor, if, as a distinguished veterinarian, bring a new warthog into the world?

SHAWN:
(in character) Please excuse while we confer. Uh... pumbaa...

SHAWN and GUS both make clicking sounds.

SHAWN:
(in character) Meerkat.

More clicking sounds and GUS makes cooing sounds and SHAWN imitates a baby crying as he pretends to rock one in his arms. JOAN watches, stunned.

SHAWN:
(in character) He would be honored, yes. So just lead us the way.

GUS glares at him.

JOAN:
Thank you, thank you. (walks away)

GUS:
What are you doing? We don't know anything about delivering warthog babies!

SHAWN:
Oh! A baby's a baby, you just pull it out at the right time! The real question is, are you allergic to placenta?

EXT. WARTHOG AREA, DAY

We see the fencing and soon GUS comes running out, eyes closed tightly as he dodges back and forth, not sure of which way to go.

GUS:
Oh, God! Oh, my eyes! My eyes!

GUS finds a garbage pail and retches.

INT SBPD, CONFERENCE ROOM

LASSITER precedes CROCKER into the room. JULIET follows.

LASSITER:
Again, Mr. Crocker, thank you for coming in. I know how hectic your schedule is.

CROCKER:
Don't mention it, Detective Lassiter. I'm never too busy to help Santa Barbara's finest.

They all sit at the table.

CROCKER:
Why don't you tell me what this is about.

JULIET:
Did you see this in the paper? (shows him the article about Mike)

CROCKER:
Yes, I did. Sad.

LASSITER:
We have information that you were seen with the victim the day before his body was found.

CROCKER:
No. It wasn't me. Why don't we just cut to the chase? It was that detective, Connors, wasn't it?

LASSITER and JULIET exchange a look.

CROCKER:
20 years, and he still can't let it go.

LASSITER:
I really can't say.

EXT. WOODS, DAY

They park the Echo on the side of a dirt road and walk towards a chain blocking the way.

SHAWN:
Mike's body was found on this trail.

The notice board has two signs stating the trail is closed.

GUS:
It's closed. Now what?

SHAWN:
Just hold on. Let me think a minute. Okay. I have a plan. It’s a little crazy, but it might just work.

GUS:
Okay. What?

SHAWN:
(climbs over the chain) Dude! We totally made it! We're in!

GUS:
Shawn, in case you're confused, "closed" means "go away", "stay out".

SHAWN:
Yes, in the negative language dictionary, which is clearly the only edition you own. But in the positive language edition, "closed" means "come in, step over the chain, there's so many less people to trample all over what you're looking for".

>>>LATER>>>

SHAWN and GUS are on the trail.

GUS:
You really think you can track the animal?

SHAWN:
Perhaps you've forgotten about my extensive experience with the Native Americans, a proud and solvent people.

GUS:
Working at the Flaming Tomahawk?

SHAWN:
So you do remember.

GUS:
Shawn, you were a greeter in the casino, for a week.

SHAWN:
The only non-Native American to be awarded an eagle feather. Always remember that, Gus.

GUS:
Oh, please!

SHAWN:
(points at ground) Black lab! (points at different spot) Akita! (squats) Lizard.

GUS:
Okay, now you're just making stuff up.

SHAWN:
(stands) Flamingo.

GUS:
What if we do find these mountain lion tracks? What then?

SHAWN:
Well, we clearly follow them to the kill zone and look for clues.

GUS:
What kill zone?

SHAWN sees a spot on the ground and kneels.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Felis concolor. It's Latin for mountain lion. (sniffs) Let's follow them and see where they lead. (leaps over a rise in the trail) This is it.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
The kill zone. The kill happened here. Except...

GUS:
Except what?

SHAWN:
Except the drag marks are coming from that direction. (points the way they came) The lion tracks we followed are over there. If this lion dragged and killed its prey, the tracks and the marks should match up. They should come from the same direction. Gus, you know what this means?

GUS:
The murder didn’t happen here!

SHAWN:
Exactly. This cat was framed.

Behind them, a park ranger pumps his shotgun and aims it at them.

RANGER:
I guess you guys can't read. This area is closed.

INT. RANGER CABIN, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are sitting on a couch covered by blankets drinking soup.

GUS:
What are we doing here? I'm burning up in this thing.

SHAWN:
No, you're not.

GUS:
Yes, I am.

SHAWN:
You've been wandering, lost in the woods, for two nights and you're suffering from extreme hypothermia. Now, shiver!

The RANGER enters the room.

RANGER:
How're you feeling? Better?

SHAWN:
Oh, Ranger De Soto, this soup is amazing. Gus called it a chowder, and I'm tempted to agree. Do you think you might have any crackers to go with it? Perhaps those little oyster kind?

DeSOTO:
I'll check. (leaves)

SHAWN:
You're too kind. (shivers)

GUS:
Crackers? Really? For someone who supposedly drinks his own urine, your palate is suddenly very sophisticated. Let's get out of here.

SHAWN:
We can't. (sees plaques on the wall “presented by the Crocker Foundation”) We've got work to do. I think there's more to this gun-toting Ranger than meets the eye. (sees a photo of DeSOTO with CROCKER)

GUS:
Like what?

SHAWN:
Well, for starters...

SHAWN gets up and walks to the display on the wall. GUS follows.

SHAWN:
He just happens to know the infamous Mort Crocker and his wife, Edna. Coincidence?

GUS:
Shawn, it's a fundraiser. The Crockers probably posed with everybody in there.

SHAWN:
What about the giant cage outside?

GUS:
What about it?

SHAWN looks out the window at the cage and sees a broken bit of wire with blood on it. He remembers the cut on the lion they saw at the zoo.

SHAWN:
I suspect that at one point our man-eating mountain lion was kept in that cage and sustained a small cut.

GUS:
Yeah, when they trapped him and took him to the zoo.

DeSOTO returns.

DeSOTO:
Sorry. All I have is saltines. That okay?

SHAWN:
(fakes shivers) Believe me, when you're starving, you'll eat anything, including the poop of indigenous beasts. Speaking of which, when we were lost out there, Gus here was little-girl scared that we might be eaten by some kind of wild animal. Does that sort of thing ever really happen?

GUS helps himself to the crackers, dunking them into the soup.

DeSOTO:
Well, it's not unheard of. Fact is, we had a guy killed by a mountain lion just a couple of days ago.

GUS:
Does that kind of thing happen often?

SHAWN stares at GUS as he keeps eating.

DeSOTO:
Oh, a few times in the past 50 years.

GUS:
(mouthful) I thought mountain lions were afraid of humans.

DeSOTO:
Generally, but if they get hungry enough... We've had a really dry year, (SHAWN and GUS look at him as this contradicts what they heard at the zoo) that means reduced vegetation, and reduced vegetation means fewer deer and the like for the lions to feed on. You can't really blame the cat. It gets hungry and it wants to eat.

SHAWN:
You mind if I ask you a question that's completely unrelated?

DeSOTO:
Sure.

SHAWN:
Is that real mahogany?

SHAWN and GUS look at each other, knowing how lame that was.

EXT. WOODS, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk down the trail.

SHAWN:
Now what do we know? We know there was plenty of rain this year, no reason for a mountain lion to be malnourished. Why was Ranger DeSoto lying?

GUS:
Why do people usually lie? He's hiding something.

INT. SBPD, RECEPTION, DAY

CONNORS enters in uniform

CONNORS
Henry Spencer back from lunch yet?

DESK OFFICER:
Henry Spencer? I'm sorry, who are you?

CONNORS
Never mind. Just tell him to come and find me. (walks to bullpen) We need to go over that Zoe Sharp file again.

DESK OFFICER:
Whoa! Excuse me, sir. You can't go back there!

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

CONNORS takes off his uniform jacket and hat and puts them on a coat stand before making his way to the nearest desk.

CONNORS
What the hell is all this? (opens bottom drawer)

LASSITER arrives with the DESK OFFICER.

LASSITER:
Captain Connors?

CONNORS
(pulls out file) Yeah.

LASSITER:
May I help you? This is my desk.

CONNORS
(removes glasses and looks up) Look, son, I don't know who the hell you are, but you're confused. This is my desk. It's been my desk for years. Now, you can either help me find the Zoe Sharp file or take a hike.

LASSITER:
You know what? Um, maybe there's someone we should call.

LASSITER bends over to take CONNORS by the arm, but the older man stands quickly on his own.

CONNORS
Hey, look, I don't have time for all this crap. I’ve got work to do!

LASSITER:
(takes CONNORS’ jacket and hat from the stand) Sir, please. Don't make this difficult. (reaches for CONNORS to guide him)

CONNORS
(backs away) Hey, you want to dance, pal? (holds up fists) You just name that tune. Come on! (rocks on his feet)

INT. SBPD, LOWER LEVEL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS enter and proceed up the stairs to reception.

GUS:
I don't know, Shawn. Accusing Crocker of murder is a pretty big deal. It doesn't bother you we're missing little things, like motive, where the murder took place, or any kind of real evidence or proof?

INT. SBPD, RECEPTION, DAY

SHAWN:
News flash, Gus, the cops think I'm a psychic. I just have to get a feeling at the right time.

TRISH runs in the front door.

TRISH:
Shawn! Gus!

GUS:
What are you doing here?

TRISH:
My father, he's disappeared.

SHAWN:
What?

MAN:
Hey!

SHAWN:
C’mon!

GUS and SHAWN head towards the fuss.

TRISH:
Where?

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

A crowd has gathered in time to see CONNORS punch LASSITER in the nose. They groan in sympathy. As LASSITER feels his nose, CONNORS dances around him.

LASSITER:
All right, now you are starting to piss me off, old man.

LASSITER turns to face CONNORS, throwing the jacket and cap to another detective. COONORS throws a punch and LASSITER catches the fist and restrains him in a tight grip.

LASSITER:
Come here.

SHAWN, GUS and TRISH arrive.

LASSITER:
It is time for you to go. (starts bringing CONNORS to the exit)

CONNORS
(sees SHAWN) Henry! Henry! Tell them who I am!

SHAWN:
(looks around) Um…

GUS:
I think he's talking to you.

SHAWN:
Oh, God, please tell me I don't look like my father.

GUS:
You could be his twin.

SHAWN:
Look at the back of my head. Is my hair starting to thin at all?

GUS:
(smacks him) Shawn!

CONNORS
Henry!

SHAWN:
Uh, uh... I think we all know who this is. This is Captain Brett Connors, one of the finest cops in the SBPD, someone I'd be happy to share a squad car with.

LASSITER:
What the hell is going on, Spencer?

SHAWN:
This man happens to be my friend, now, let him go.

LASSITER:
(releases CONNORS and pushes him forward) He's your responsibility. Get him out of here.

TRISH retrieves her father’s jacket and cap.

SHAWN:
Let's go, Captain.

They walk down the hall.

INT. SBPD, RECEPTION, DAY

CONNORS
I should report them all to Internal Affairs. They should be brought up on charges.

SHAWN:
I couldn't agree more. You head home, I'll draw up the paperwork.

TRISH takes her father home. SHAWN and GUS stop. SHAWN turns his head and sees SABRINA seating on a bench with the box of Mike’s possessions.

SHAWN:
That's the girlfriend. (walks over) I'm sorry to disturb you. Was his name Mike?

SABRINA:
Yeah, it was. How did you know?

SHAWN:
Shawn Spencer, police psychic. I know this must be a very tough time for you. (sits on the bench next to her and pretends to get a vision)

SABRINA:
Sabrina.

SHAWN:
Sabrina. I am so sorry for your loss.

SABRINA:
You know, he'd come all this way, and lived so much, and his whole life can be condensed into a few items in this box.

SHAWN looks into the box and sees something on the bottom of a sneaker.

SHAWN:
Mike wasn't from here, was he? No, no. He was...he was visiting.

SABRINA:
Yeah, that's right. We were both from Pennsylvania. Mike came out here to search for his birth parents.

SHAWN:
I'm sensing a longing.

SABRINA:
He was so sad the first time he called me. He'd just found out that his birth mother had been dead for almost 20 years.

SHAWN:
(sighs) And that would explain the sadness that I'm feeling.

SABRINA:
But then, a few days later, he called to say that he thought he had located his birth father. I'd never heard him more excited.

SHAWN:
(reaches into box and lifts a sneaker) Did Mike bring another pair of shoes with him on this trip?

SABRINA:
No, no. Just what he had on him. It was pretty sudden, this trip out here.

SHAWN:
I see. Sabrina, (stands) I'm feeling that Mike does not want you to be sad.

SABRINA:
(stands) Can you tell me, did Mike get to meet his birth father? He said he was a really wealthy man and difficult to get to.

SHAWN:
(pretends to “see”) Yes. Yes, he did. (sees prescription bottle for Biotin in the box)

EXT. CROCKER DRIVE, DAY

They walk from the parked Echo to the large front gates of the Crocker mansion.

GUS:
A biotin deficiency can be hereditary.

SHAWN:
Well, it's not exactly a paternity test, but let's see if Crocker has the same prescription. If so, we know Connors was right.

GUS:
This is a fortress. We need a plan. I don't think we can exactly just ring the buzzer and ask to peek into Mr. Crocker's medicine cabinet.

SHAWN:
Why not? That sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Why can't we be from the state board of medicine cabinet inspectors?

GUS:
I don't know, Shawn. I know I'm right on this one. Let's think this through.

SHAWN looks through the gate and sees a camera hidden in a fake birdhouse.

SHAWN:
No, Gus. Come on, let's go in without a plan, flying by the seat of our pants. It'll be so much more fun. Trust me.

EXT. CROCKER ESTATE, REAR ENTRANCE, DAY

SHAWN leads GUS around to where a number of vans are unloading product.

SHAWN:
See, look, man. There's some kind of commotion happening here. Planning a party. It's a piece of cake. They’re never going to notice us.

They casually walk inside the gate and towards the house. A WOMAN in casual clothes and a large-brimmed hat stops trimming a bush when she sees them.

WOMAN:
Excuse me. Where are your badges?

SHAWN:
Oh, I don't need a badge. I'm the event planner.

WOMAN:
The event planner is a woman.

SHAWN:
Yeah, I'm her assistant.

WOMAN:
Also a woman.

SHAWN:
To the assistant.

WOMAN:
I'm calling security. (heads for the house)

SHAWN:
No, no, no, no! You don't need to do that.

WOMAN:
(turns around) Don't tell me what I need to do. The rules are very strict here.

SHAWN:
Really? You're going to let your bosses run you around like that? You're going to let the man hold you down? These freak bastards with their rules and regulations? You're a human person. You need to rise up and tell them to go to hell. We can all do it together. Let us empower you.

WOMAN:
I'm Edna Crocker, and you are one minute away from a squad car ride.

SHAWN:
Probably ought to let this one go.

GUS:
Yeah.

INT. PHARMACY, DAY

GUS takes lead.

GUS:
Hi.

PHARMACIST:
Hi.

GUS:
I'm here to pick up a prescription for a Mr. Crocker, Mort Crocker.

PHARMACIST:
One moment, please. (checks computer)

GUS:
Thank you. (backs up to SHAWN) See? You should listen to me every once in a while.

SHAWN:
That's not fair. I don't have access to medical files and doctors' names.

GUS:
Shawn, I called two pharmacies while you were being interrogated.

PHARMACIST:
I don't have anything for Mr. Crocker.

SHAWN:
(sniffs and acts like he’s going through withdrawl) Are you sure about that? (leans on counter)

PHARMACIST:
Yes.

SHAWN:
Um... can I just get back there for a second? (sticks thumb in his mouth)

PHARMACIST:
I'm sorry, we don't have anything, and someone has already picked up all of his most recent prescriptions.

SHAWN:
Was it that bastard, Jimmy DeRucci?

GUS:
Shawn, please.

SHAWN:
Tell you what, before I, uh, (flails arms) before I go a little nuts, why don't you, uh... just give me the name of the prescriptions and we can get out of here.

GUS:
Okay, okay, see, it's a long-standing prescription. It needs to be renewed. No one's going to go nuts here.

SHAWN clears his throat like he’s coughing up a hairball. GUS slaps him to get him to stop.

PHARMACIST:
(stammers and checks computer) Okay, no, I... I do have something, but they did... they picked that up over two months ago.

GUS:
Really?

SHAWN:
(hugs himself) What was that? The penicillin?

PHARMACIST:
No, it was his regular dosage of something called...

SHAWN:
Biotin?

PHARMACIST:
Yes. Is that what you're looking for?

GUS:
Yes, thank you.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP, DAY

LASSITER and JULIET approach SHAWN, GUS, CONNORS and TRISH as they stand in front of the missing poster of MIKE. CONNORS is still in his uniform.

LASSITER:
All right, Spencer. You said you found an eyewitness for Mike McMillan's murder. Where is he?

SHAWN:
(pretends to talk to the poster) Okay, Mike. Go ahead. Tell the detectives exactly what you told me.

LASSITER:
You're kidding me, right? And we're out of here. (turns on his heel to leave)

SHAWN:
Mike says he was in town searching for his natural birth parents. If you don't believe him, you can ask his girlfriend.

LASSITER stops, hands on hips.

JULIET:
That's true. She told me.

SHAWN:
Did she also tell you that he found his birth father?

JULIET:
Well, what about his birth mother? Did Mike say if he found her?

LASSITER:
(walks back) No, no. He didn't say anything. See, he can't. He's a picture on a piece of paper. And dead.

SHAWN:
You should be ashamed of yourself. Mike said his mother was killed 20 years ago, right after he was born. (looks at CONNORS) Her name was Zoe Sharp.

CONNORS
I knew it. That son of a bitch. He killed her and now he got rid of the baby!

GUS:
He protects his business, his reputation, and he doesn't have to share his wealth. Sounds like a motive for murder to me.

LASSITER:
Really?

GUS:
Yep.

LASSITER:
(points at the poster) Then how do you explain the mountain lions, huh? (walks over to it) If you're so smart, how do you explain that?

SHAWN:
Uh, Lassie, why are you asking him? He was just a baby when his mother was killed. In fact, he wasn't even there.

CONNORS
Summer of '86 was hot and dry. There were a lot of fires. The lions were all going hungry. I remember some of them came right into town looking for food. Crocker killed Zoe and dumped her body in the hills. He didn't know about the lions, that just happened! They ate the evidence and covered his tracks! He just got lucky.

LASSITER:
What about this time? With Michael? What, he just got lucky again?

SHAWN:
No, not this time. This time he had help. Ranger Desoup...

GUS:
(quietly) DeSoto.

SHAWN:
DeSoto provided the lion.

CONNORS
DeSoto? I know that name. I just can't remember why.

SHAWN:
Sir, it's okay.

LASSITER:
Well, I got to hand it to you, Spencer. This is a terrific story. There's just one problem.

SHAWN:
I'm sure it's nothing that Mike can't help us work through. What is it?

LASSITER:
Crocker has an air-tight alibi. He was in Chicago when Mike was killed.

CONNORS
Oh, he's lying.

LASSITER:
I checked it out myself, sir. He spoke at a symposium in front of 200 other people.

CONNORS
No, no. Not again. Not this time. (heads for the car)

TRISH:
Dad...

SHAWN:
Sir...

TRISH:
Daddy?

CONNORS gets behind the steering wheel and drives off.

LASSITER:
He wouldn't do anything stupid, would he?

SHAWN:
Define "stupid”.

LASSITER:
Go after Crocker himself.

They all realize this is exactly what he would do. SHAWN stops to take the flyer off the pillar.

SHAWN:
Trish, come on.

They run for their cars.

EXT. CROCKER ESTATE, BACK YARD, DAY

A string quartet plays Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” as guest mingle with drinks around the tables arranged for the event. Two children run through and CROCKER reminds them of no running. As one guest greets another, CONNORS runs through and confronts CROCKER in front of two female guests.

CONNORS
Mort Crocker, you're under arrest for the murder of Zoe Sharp and Mike McMillan.

CROCKER:
Mr. Connors. I'm so glad you could make it. Why don't you help yourself to a drink.

EDNA walks up slowly.

CONNORS
No, no, no, no. You might fool all of these people, but not me.

LASSITER and JULIET run down the steps of the back porch and over to CONNORS.

EDNA:
Is everything all right, darling?

CROCKER:
Everything's fine, Edna. Please, go back to our guests.

LASSITER:
Captain Connors, sir, why don't you let us take you home. Pardon us for the disturbance. (CONNORS runs away) Oh, crap.

SHAWN, GUS and TRISH arrive and join in the chase. CROCKER and EDNA follow at a more sedate pace.

INT. CROCKER ESTATE, GREENHOUSE, DAY

CONNORS makes his way inside, and, in his hurry, knocks over a bag of potting soil. He ducks behind one of the tables just as LASSITER enters followed closely by the others.

LASSITER:
Connors! Oh, come on! Stop acting like a child!

SHAWN sees the potting soil

TRISH:
Dad?

JULIET sneezes.

SHAWN:
Bless you.

JULIET:
Thank you.

SHAWN follows the trail left by the potting soil and ducks down to find CONNORS hiding under the table. The older man holds a finger to his lips, shushing him. SHAWN nods and then sees the moss stuck to CONNORS’ shoes. It’s the same stuff that was on Mike’s sneakers.

SHAWN:
(stands) He was here.

LASSITER:
Well, of course he's here. We saw him come in, Sherlock.

SHAWN:
No, no, not Connors. Mike. Mike McMillan was here. What? But...you sound all muffled. What, are you eating something? How can... Right, right, right. My bad. My bad. (reaches into back pocket, takes out the flyer and unfolds it) He was muffled. It was my fault. There. There, that's so much better. (holds the flyer so Mike can “see” what happens)

EDNA:
Please get out of here. Now. I don't allow anyone inside my greenhouse.

Some uniformed officers enter the greenhouse.

SHAWN:
Well, that's not exactly true, now, is it? You let Mike McMillan in, didn't you? I mean, this is where you killed him. You see, when Mike's spirit started talking about Crocker, I thought he meant Mr. Crocker, but he wasn't. He was talking about Mrs. Crocker.

The party guests watch through the glass doors.

LASSITER:
Well, for your sake, you had better be right this time.

SHAWN:
(to CROCKER) He came to see you, but you weren't here. What? Mike, you know I don't speak Italian. (listens) Shoes. He wants you to check the shoes that he was wearing that day. The soles. You'll find potting soil in the tread that matches that stuff.

CROCKER:
Edna, what's he talking about?

CONNORS
(comes out of hiding) Edna? (walks forward)

SHAWN:
Captain.

CONNORS
That's why I know the name. Before you were married, your name was Edna DeSoto! And you and your brother, John, the park Ranger, were in this together.

Flashback shows John DeSOTO dragging Mike’s body in the woods.

CONNORS
He used the lion to cover your tracks.

EDNA:
(nervous laugh) You're not really going to believe this old fool?

SHAWN:
Watch who you're calling... (looks at flyer) What? I'm sorry, that was my fault, I just wasn't paying attention to you. Are you serious? It's in a bird feeder? No, I'll say it. There's a surveillance camera out front. (flash of SHAWN seeing it earlier) Apparently, it's in a bird feeder. And if the tape hasn't been erased, you'll be able to see him arriving on the day he was killed.

CROCKER:
Please, Edna, tell me you didn't.

EDNA:
What was I supposed to do? Someone had to protect everything we've worked so hard for! You would have given him half of everything! Just like you would've his mother.

CROCKER:
He was my son!

CONNORS
Detective, arrest this woman, and while you're at it, issue a warrant for the arrest of John Desoto, for the murder of Zoe Sharp and Mike McMillan.

LASSITER:
Officers, you heard the Captain. Get 'em out of here.

The two uniformed officers take EDNA away and CROCKER follows. TRISH runs over to her father and hugs him.

TRISH:
Dad, I'm so proud of you.

SHAWN walks over to GUS and they fist bump. SHAWN then looks down at the flyer.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP, DAY

CONNORS and HENRY are sitting at a table. HENRY is looking at a commendation award for CONNORS.

HENRY:
Show-off. (gives it back) Good for you. (pats him on the arm)

CONNORS
Yeah, thanks. It's a real honor, you know. I thought these days were long gone.

HENRY:
Does that mean you're coming out of retirement?

CONNORS
(laughs) What, are you kidding? I'm lucky if I come out of the fog.

HENRY:
Well, you got to keep your brain stimulated. Try the crosswords.

CONNORS
Nah, I like that, um, Sudoku.

HENRY:
Yeah. We could always go after cold cases.

CONNORS
Nah. Best to leave it to the young guys, huh?

They look across the patio to another table where TRISH is sitting with SHAWN and GUS.

TRISH:
Thanks for giving him this day. I hope he remembers it tomorrow. He can let go and move on, you know? Shawn?

SHAWN:
(distracted) Yeah? What? I'm sorry. I... got a little lump in my throat.

TRISH is touched, but GUS knows what he’s leading up to.

SHAWN:
Speaking of lumps...

TRISH:
Yes?

SHAWN:
The ostrich? The tennis ball?

TRISH:
What?

SHAWN:
You know what? It's not a big deal, obviously. But it always bugged me a little. Why didn't you say anything, Trish?

TRISH:
Like what?

SHAWN:
Oh, I don't know. "I threw the tennis ball into the highly restricted ostrich area, and I let you take the fall for it."

TRISH:
You're serious.

SHAWN:
It's not too late to make it right. (points to their fathers) Right is right.

TRISH:
You really still have not grown up, have you? (stands) Wow. Goodbye, Shawn. Gus. (walks away)

GUS chuckles.

SHAWN:
(holds out arms) What?

TRISH walks over to the other table.

HENRY:
Hey.

CONNORS
Hey! There she is!

HENRY:
(stands) No, no. Here. (offers TRISH his seat)

SHAWN:
There, are you happy? (sips coffee)

GUS:
Yeah, actually, I am.

SHAWN:
Good.

GUS:
Good? You really want me to believe that you put your foot in your mouth deliberately? Please.

SHAWN:
Go get the girl. It's your move.

GUS:
No.

SHAWN:
Gus, will you go...

GUS:
Shawn, I told you. I do not need you to lay back for me to get a girl.

SHAWN:
Get over there.

GUS:
No.

SHAWN:
Show her the abs. (whispers) Show her the abs.

GUS:
Not until you challenge me straight-up.

SHAWN:
Fine. (sits up and checks watch) I will be kissing Trish...(sets timer) in 10 minutes.

GUS:
Not if I get there first.

They both get up and rush to the other table.